Friday, 3 January 2014

The most plausible explanation for Sherlock's fall (feat. Busted)

Everyone watched Sherlock on New Year's Day, right? Of course you did, you've had two years to catch up with the last series. It was a brilliant episode, but alas! we were not told how Sherlock managed to survive a deadly plummet from a really tall building, his supposed mangled corpse crunching onto the pavement below, all witnessed by a traumatised John.
I've thought it through and there really is only one explanation, exclusively revealed right here on Alma Grove.

Saturday, 14 December 2013

3 steps to gaining acceptance from your cats

At the end of my first year at uni, my family got two adorable kittens whom we named Poppy and Rosie. Awwww.
The thing was, because I was at uni and therefore not home very often, whenever I did come home they didn't really understand who I was. So, since graduating and moving back home, I've had to ingratiate myself with our two-year-old cats. I know, it sounds like I've set myself an impossible task, but it turns out that there are steps one can take to gain a cat's - well, certainly not love (I'm not completely delusional), but perhaps haughty satisfaction. Here's what I did:

Saturday, 30 November 2013

3 fun obsessions I've been having recently

If you've read many of my other posts, you'll probably have realised by now that I get obsessed with things REALLY easily. It is a natural trait that was exacerbated by being a student and having endless time to waste, making me more obsessive than ever. I'm going to share with you a few phases I've been going through, partly in the hope that you'll get obsessed with them too and we can geek out about them together. Deal? Cool.
Shhh Regina, I'm not talking about you.

Saturday, 16 November 2013

23 gems from GraceBot

In a fit of extreme laziness, this post has been written by a machine. Everyone's been trying out the new What Would I Say? app on Facebook, which generates statuses by mashing up everything you've ever said on Facebook and churning it out to make it look like something you might say. Well, if it can generate statuses, why not a whole blog post, eh? Here are 23 things that I, apparently, might say:

Well basically in my dream I was ron weasley...

Friday, 8 November 2013

What would happen if dolphins were treated as people?

In an exciting turn of events, this post has been inspired by @UberFacts! I couldn't have predicted this happening a couple of hours ago, but here we are. This tweet popped up on my timeline earlier, and I think you'll agree that I couldn't have ignored it if I tried:
Dolphins could become part of our actual society, much like the Elves and Dwarves of Middle-Earth! Imagine a world where we walk/swim hand-in-fin with our streamlined peers, chatting and chirruping away with enormous grins stretched across our faces. We'll have such a jolly time! I am literally so excited by this that I wrote a list of how things would change if dolphins got given non-human rights.*

Friday, 1 November 2013

My 3 failed attempts at doing exercise

Exercise and I have never been pals. We've met on occasion, but in each instance I got the feeling that she's inwardly sneering at me. Competitive sports are a no-no - mainly because I can't do the 'competitive' bit (forgive me, but the idea of briefly being named the best at a game that will invariably involve running after a ball of some sort seems to lack any sort of benefit apart from a fleeting sensation of smugness, which you cannot express to anyone for fear of appearing smug).

Here is a rare image of me after an attempt at exercise:
To me, exercise only has any appeal if a) no one can see me, and b) it doesn't make me feel like death. The chances of this are often slim. However, I have made an effort to try and exercise a few times this year, with varying results: