tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60925349539789081122024-03-19T10:37:05.164+00:00Alma GroveAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-22324220270883767042014-05-03T21:03:00.003+01:002014-05-03T21:03:38.216+01:00Don't panic!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Sorry for the long silence, folks. The good news is, I'm not dead, merely snowed under with wedding stuff (I am literally sitting in a mound of confetti as we speak). I promise I'll be back when I'm less busy, but for now, here's a link to <a href="http://catsarethebeesknees.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">my Tumblr</a>, which is just reblogs of stuff I've found funny/interesting/beautiful. See you in August, ciao for now xx</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-1171644529717583832014-01-03T20:24:00.001+00:002014-01-03T20:25:05.492+00:00The most plausible explanation for Sherlock's fall (feat. Busted)Everyone watched Sherlock on New Year's Day, right? Of course you did, you've had two years to catch up with the last series. It was a brilliant episode, but alas! we were not told how Sherlock managed to survive a deadly plummet from a really tall building, his supposed mangled corpse crunching onto the pavement below, all witnessed by a traumatised John.<br />
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I've thought it through and there really is only one explanation, exclusively revealed right here on Alma Grove.<br />
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There is no mention at the beginning of the episode of a date, nor does there appear to be a date on the gravestone. This is a deliberate negation on the part of the writers, fooling us into believing that this is set in the present day. In reality, these events clearly take place in the year 3000, a year that we know a great deal about thanks to the experiences of the band Busted.<br />
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Busted state in their informative song that in the year 3000, "Not much has changed, but they live underwater". This is why we have been so easily fooled. Apart from the water, London looks like the familiar city we know today, with its tall buildings, traffic and tube network. Nothing would suggest that anything had changed.<br />
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If London was underwater, why wasn't everyone swimming? This is a tricky question to which I have no certain answer, but I would speculate that the event which caused London to be underwater occurred perhaps 700-800 years prior to the year 3000. Being British, the Londoners grumbled a bit but eventually learnt to live with the water, developing the ability to breathe underwater, as well as walk, talk and go about general business. Society soon forgot that it was living underwater at all, so similar did life become to before the event.<br />
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By the year 3000, the fact that London (and probably the rest of the UK) was living underwater was virtually unknown. Only the very sharpest of minds could deduce the real situation, and luckily one was in the possession of a certain Mr Sherlock Holmes.<br />
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Three-year-old Sherlock was standing on the edge of the platform, listening to the vibrations of the metal train tracks to see if he could predict the precise time of the next train. Just as he had decided that the train would come in 3 minutes and 25 seconds, the voice of his older brother whispered menacingly in his ear: "Don't stand too close to the edge, little brother..."<br />
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A little pressure from Mycroft on Sherlock's right shoulder was enough to topple the boy over the edge. As screams of horror and alarm reverberated around him, little Sherlock instinctively put his arms out in front of him to cushion his fall...<br />
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...but the painful landing he anticipated never came. Instead, it seemed that the breaststroke motion he had made with his arms has propelled him upwards, so that his feet rested gently on the train track.<br />
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In the panic, nobody ever realised the significance of this action. But for Sherlock, it was a revelation that would save his life on countless occasions.<br />
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As the adult Sherlock stood on top of the hospital building, a sense of déjà vu flickered in his memory as he prepared for his 'fall'. Saying a fond farewell to John, he tossed his phone aside and dived. Down he propelled through the water, swooping in a graceful arc to avoid hitting the pavement. Now to lie down and play dead, using the old ball-under-the-armpit trick. Piece of cake.<br />
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<u><b>FAQs</b></u><br />
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<b>Q. Busted state in their song that they saw "Triple-breasted women swim around totally naked". How does this fit with your theory?</b><br />
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A. If you recall, this is the same band that describe how they seduced and ran away with their 33-year-old teacher - I think this song counts as ample evidence that the band is prone to exaggeration and boastfulness. The appearance of triple-breasted women does not gel with Busted's opinion that in the year 3000, "Not much has changed", and I think that we can therefore discount it. The same goes for the band's impression that in the year 3000 their single had "gone multi-platinum" and that they had "outsold Michael Jackson".<br />
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<b>Q. Does "your great-great-great-granddaughter" appear at all in the Sherlock series?</b><br />
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A. As Busted do not embellish on the description of said female, other than that she's "pretty fine", it is difficult to say. One obvious candidate is Molly Hooper, although it is unclear as to whether Sherlock thinks her "pretty fine".<br />
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Busted image from youtube.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-16145303082958021242013-12-14T18:01:00.001+00:002013-12-14T18:02:42.953+00:003 steps to gaining acceptance from your catsAt the end of my first year at uni, my family got two adorable kittens whom we named Poppy and Rosie. Awwww.<br />
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The thing was, because I was at uni and therefore not home very often, whenever I did come home they didn't really understand who I was. So, since graduating and moving back home, I've had to ingratiate myself with our two-year-old cats. I know, it sounds like I've set myself an impossible task, but it turns out that there are steps one can take to gain a cat's - well, certainly not <i>love </i>(I'm not completely delusional), but perhaps haughty satisfaction. Here's what I did:</div>
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<b>1) Learn cat language</b></div>
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Cats haven't learnt to speak English (although I sometimes like to imagine that they can secretly speak Egyptian), so they have to speak in cat language. This mainly consists of miaowing, purring and hissing, but they also make faces and write coded air messages with their tails.</div>
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I read in <i>Life of Pi </i>(and if I read it in there, it must be true) that if a tiger gives you a long, slow blink, it means they love you. Well, presumably this extends to all members of the cat family, so I figured that if I started giving Poppy and Rosie long, slow blinks, they would understand that I was their friend. I'm not really sure if it worked but they often blink at me so I'm taking that as a sign that the feeling is mutual.</div>
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<b>2) Remember your manners</b></div>
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Cats are absolute sticklers for good manners. They don't practise manners, as this would be quite beneath their station in society, but they value them in much the same way as a medieval knight might expect politeness from his serfs. </div>
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Therefore, you must always greet your cats and wave goodbye when you leave. In the latter case, they will stare mournfully and reproachfully, indicating that you have sunk in their estimation. This is, unfortunately, unavoidable, and I have counteracted it by rarely leaving the house.</div>
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<b>3) Identify yourself as a provider</b></div>
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This should, perhaps, have been the first point, as it is certainly the easiest way to a cat's heart - feed them. If you're the one to feed them in the morning, they'll never leave your side. What's more, if you allow yourself to be manipulated by those enormous eyes every so often during mealtimes, they will see you as a weak target, and therefore favour you (cats will only associate with humans that they can easily bend to their will).</div>
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If you view this stance as undignified, then you are not cut out to be a cat owner and should probably return your cat immediately.</div>
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<b>Did it work?</b></div>
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The results have been overwhelmingly favourable, and I believe Poppy and Rosie now see me as an acceptable human being to spend time with. Rosie wakes me up in the morning to remind me it's breakfast time and Poppy lets me throw hair bobbles for her to fetch. It's an excellent arrangement (for them, mainly).</div>
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<b>WARNING</b></div>
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If you plan to ingratiate yourself with a cat, never ever ever switch on a vacuum cleaner in their presence. You will live to regret it, if you're lucky...</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-89578210428588796852013-11-30T12:58:00.000+00:002013-11-30T12:58:25.698+00:003 fun obsessions I've been having recentlyIf you've read many of my other posts, you'll probably have realised by now that I get obsessed with things REALLY easily. It is a natural trait that was exacerbated by being a student and having endless time to waste, making me more obsessive than ever. I'm going to share with you a few phases I've been going through, partly in the hope that you'll get obsessed with them too and we can geek out about them together. Deal? Cool.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGB0L8A9Fo7nDeK2bKpUzWWLQaFILIUpksLl8K7I1xsUDtG0bLUr566XxRJEdKigo28Km1Ir4McrH9Qp_JPWs2BmHBTzHrnv6YiTIzo-dmmf7sn41RqGbrLBT2vx0nQpgkbbDQWpvd5FzU/s1600/why+are+you+so+obsessed+with+me.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGB0L8A9Fo7nDeK2bKpUzWWLQaFILIUpksLl8K7I1xsUDtG0bLUr566XxRJEdKigo28Km1Ir4McrH9Qp_JPWs2BmHBTzHrnv6YiTIzo-dmmf7sn41RqGbrLBT2vx0nQpgkbbDQWpvd5FzU/s400/why+are+you+so+obsessed+with+me.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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Shhh Regina, I'm not talking about you.</div>
<a name='more'></a><b>1) The Lizzie Bennet Diaries</b><br />
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I know that I'm very late to this party, so late that it's not even fashionably late, but I discovered the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6690D980D8A65D08" target="_blank">Lizzie Bennet Diaries</a> on YouTube two weeks ago and was hooked from the moment I clicked the play button. If you don't already know, the Lizzie Bennet Diaries are basically a modern adaptation of <i>Pride and Prejudice</i> created in the style of a vlog. Lizzie Bennet is a 24-year-old grad student who records her life through a video blog, detailing the reaction of her marriage-obsessed mother upon hearing about their new neighbour, soon-to-be doctor Bing Lee; her crush on swimming coach George Wickham; and above all, her distaste for a certain pompous CEO William Darcy.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_AgRP3zsLMZwfeoE8UWmL2nQo63Bx-JjVUDA7q6LiN3y27atFba6Zx6WpyZ3j23pXHD2A9fszrb7JS1EFV1RzN15y50BvSixXcbjZp5gVz-dOPksJz0VkWaZ0rh17mz31miX_5ORgRYAi/s1600/lizzie+bennet+mother.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_AgRP3zsLMZwfeoE8UWmL2nQo63Bx-JjVUDA7q6LiN3y27atFba6Zx6WpyZ3j23pXHD2A9fszrb7JS1EFV1RzN15y50BvSixXcbjZp5gVz-dOPksJz0VkWaZ0rh17mz31miX_5ORgRYAi/s1600/lizzie+bennet+mother.gif" /></a></div>
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Anyway, I think the series is 7 hours long in total. As soon as I finished it last Friday, I immediately started to miss it, so I watched it through again. I finished it again yesterday. This morning I went back to the beginning. Having read about the diaries before I thought they sounded kind of cheesy, but they're actually clever and witty, like the book. Also, it has a great theme tune. Just watch it, you won't regret it.</div>
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<b>2) Smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels</b></div>
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This is a really long-running obsession, but one of my favourites. There is nothing in the world like SMOKED SALMON. If you have a craving for smoked salmon, nothing else will satisfy. And the creaminess of the cheese and the firm bite of the bagel... it's the absolute best combination of anything ever. </div>
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I am literally salivating looking at this photo. My stomach is growling menacingly. At uni I would sometimes have a smoked salmon and cream cheese bagel for breakfast, lunch and dinner, but now that funds are in slightly short supply I've had to limit myself to maybe one a week (unless I manage to sneak it onto my parents' shopping list). But fear not - love never dies.</div>
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(Oh my word, why did I write about this?? I feel like there's a smoked-salmon-and-cream-cheese-bagel-shaped hole in my stomach.)</div>
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<b>3) The <i>Wicked</i> soundtrack</b></div>
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Alex and I saw <i>Wicked</i> last Saturday in London and I LOVED IT LOVED IT LOVED IT. It was much funnier and less cheesy than I thought it would be. Also, Elphaba reminded me and Alex of Amy Farrah Fowler from The Big Bang Theory, which is always a good thing. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiN76xAvbaMnRjux1MTX0Id7OKq6lYzXC8BNUMTl620sR1-fo4vLfHe7vW9MxzJSo2lPQqUyImwQoaLcCRk491NlKmpbv7f36fK-9NePjgOcOKdUItoh9yy8-608Be-68hHyWWHXBzemAx/s1600/wicked.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="205" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjiN76xAvbaMnRjux1MTX0Id7OKq6lYzXC8BNUMTl620sR1-fo4vLfHe7vW9MxzJSo2lPQqUyImwQoaLcCRk491NlKmpbv7f36fK-9NePjgOcOKdUItoh9yy8-608Be-68hHyWWHXBzemAx/s400/wicked.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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Now that I know the story I feel like I finally understand the songs. I always liked 'Defying Gravity', but now I can't stop listening to it and humming it and singing it under my breath. I've woken up with it in my head every day this week. My Spotify history will testify that I've literally listened to nothing else. And I don't want to. Why listen to anything other than <i>Wicked</i>? This is a very surprising statement from me, considering my commitment to playing nothing but Christmas music from October to December. At the moment, 'Dominick the Donkey' simply won't cut it.</div>
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Images: crushable.com, lizziebennetdiariesgifs.tumblr.com, angsarap.net, hypable.com</div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-5055906201356621932013-11-16T12:38:00.001+00:002013-11-16T12:41:48.193+00:0023 gems from GraceBotIn a fit of extreme laziness, this post has been written by a machine. Everyone's been trying out the new What Would I Say? app on Facebook, which generates statuses by mashing up everything you've ever said on Facebook and churning it out to make it look like something you might say. Well, if it can generate statuses, why not a whole blog post, eh? Here are 23 things that I, apparently, might say:<br />
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Well basically in my dream I was ron weasley...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYYE_upj4pokJDyjxzL-VA6o-8zkYhC86WMH9ZDU7KdG-SXn-x4cEIT8AhEJpPNEXJy_0TEsOuKrukzBN9k3wqnVoMDDMYeyycB-fVo19653nxjV2NaG_NuN1BPAn3Z5l2HlUupE_nVbOR/s1600/she+needs+to+sort+out+her+priorities.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYYE_upj4pokJDyjxzL-VA6o-8zkYhC86WMH9ZDU7KdG-SXn-x4cEIT8AhEJpPNEXJy_0TEsOuKrukzBN9k3wqnVoMDDMYeyycB-fVo19653nxjV2NaG_NuN1BPAn3Z5l2HlUupE_nVbOR/s400/she+needs+to+sort+out+her+priorities.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<a name='more'></a>thinks mauresmo looks like someone else called simon who loves bolsheviks!<br />
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Alex is not gay any more.<br />
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i should just pretend the essay is an egg!<br />
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the lord of the rings soundtrack is loving nick clegg!<br />
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Lizzy McCauley and the fresh prince, not that hot.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY6BMzlbkdHegcBvjxIOq3UsA1Rr4wY1HY-LF7xqkEuYL9Q20135HKZpdyV3cru35hA82DCoe0Bg9kPKRXVRKRikQBfTYIUOnSC0kV6t3TG29vpms6_S0IhX6DFcKalAbNC8t095kdvRYV/s1600/lizzy+fresh+prince.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiY6BMzlbkdHegcBvjxIOq3UsA1Rr4wY1HY-LF7xqkEuYL9Q20135HKZpdyV3cru35hA82DCoe0Bg9kPKRXVRKRikQBfTYIUOnSC0kV6t3TG29vpms6_S0IhX6DFcKalAbNC8t095kdvRYV/s400/lizzy+fresh+prince.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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i don't know. oh my goodness i could hear two men chatting outside my door and what THEY kiss...<br />
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Alex is being a prison cell once more..<br />
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is so much more like bambi on fri<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWR9MtnvDiRGIY9UAreVEwuwqJOrJXbAbMOGNCTtYzCcMIK4XaFPCTPayhpgQbWW7lHmWZZ9KO5B6tqFl_GHm94G3RiwILfE55JoOcPkMmvMkwYmKBLAds1TsLvBGg8cFFijW88dJGjHGS/s1600/bambi+on+fridays.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWR9MtnvDiRGIY9UAreVEwuwqJOrJXbAbMOGNCTtYzCcMIK4XaFPCTPayhpgQbWW7lHmWZZ9KO5B6tqFl_GHm94G3RiwILfE55JoOcPkMmvMkwYmKBLAds1TsLvBGg8cFFijW88dJGjHGS/s400/bambi+on+fridays.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
is so gutted I didn't see you KILLED MY MOTHER!!!<br />
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Your sister did really well i've only been chased halfway across campus by various wildfowl...<br />
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Yay for the smell of faith's hair!!<br />
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It's really weird being able to get married!!!<br />
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downton abbey time to fly through my wall in shock.<br />
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genuinely just been chased halfway across campus by that flippin figes...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDjpV3nUTJyQH0vqiIudqgz3v_FsWDt_EYuyXq7Oea1HEVBtNNVoJjCsKuvnOjXz8dJscgUa7Td100UsXVpa4boFYW95aavoXekWfgjlne3upOmfwMX-BhdxOHw1T6j0MPEqyiJAAaaHJ/s1600/figes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDjpV3nUTJyQH0vqiIudqgz3v_FsWDt_EYuyXq7Oea1HEVBtNNVoJjCsKuvnOjXz8dJscgUa7Td100UsXVpa4boFYW95aavoXekWfgjlne3upOmfwMX-BhdxOHw1T6j0MPEqyiJAAaaHJ/s400/figes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
haha thanks for sellotape hahahaha!<br />
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My grandma has got a massive rush of rappers<br />
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no, i think i may explode in the royal wedding!!!!!!<br />
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your face is on my face?<br />
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no it was the silliest doctor who episode of ugly betty!!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifTnybPqEEg2JPXJAvjybogC66gcEsWYLHdNISTUTWEGtd6R2nXtRDIWpIuVVMa6BQPUd6kaY6LaCC_wk0bFaVOPRyHCYgb4mM3PZugCznRPsY8doJiJmpIHuETTbtpaJ2gc8XJt5qH1Tx/s1600/we+know+you're+gay.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifTnybPqEEg2JPXJAvjybogC66gcEsWYLHdNISTUTWEGtd6R2nXtRDIWpIuVVMa6BQPUd6kaY6LaCC_wk0bFaVOPRyHCYgb4mM3PZugCznRPsY8doJiJmpIHuETTbtpaJ2gc8XJt5qH1Tx/s400/we+know+you're+gay.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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i don't usually think Lizzy McCauley is now the bermuda triangle?!<br />
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just got a super fit spouse I have spoken too soon...<br />
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hopes everyone has a fascination with lizloz mccauley, who rang our school!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-21918252404359606872013-11-08T22:14:00.000+00:002013-11-09T12:49:41.491+00:00What would happen if dolphins were treated as people?In an exciting turn of events, this post has been inspired by <complete id="goog_134967248">@UberFacts! I couldn't have predicted this happening a couple of hours ago, but here we are. This tweet popped up on my timeline earlier, and I think you'll agree that I couldn't have ignored it if I tried:</complete><br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
Some scientists believe dolphins should be treated as non-human "people" with their rights to life. Unlike many animals, they are self-aware<br />
— UberFacts (@UberFacts) <a href="https://twitter.com/UberFacts/statuses/398895723431100416">November 8, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script>Dolphins could become part of our actual society, much like the Elves and Dwarves of Middle-Earth! Imagine a world where we walk/swim hand-in-fin with our streamlined peers, chatting and chirruping away with enormous grins stretched across our faces. We'll have such a jolly time! I am literally so excited by this that I wrote a list of how things would change if dolphins got given non-human rights.*<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAgSd5KKa1UC0ER0um1qwZ1gXWzYolCfy7teNLsrDfAkF99yDDUxZDm6whoBC0fjYSqnoR0h5yFVQG8defBenK5WwZinG8xhVLDT_P_d0rsHVqpppTGqVdN8n-zAGDUAZLtXFrhnE747-e/s1600/dolphin+hat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="397" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAgSd5KKa1UC0ER0um1qwZ1gXWzYolCfy7teNLsrDfAkF99yDDUxZDm6whoBC0fjYSqnoR0h5yFVQG8defBenK5WwZinG8xhVLDT_P_d0rsHVqpppTGqVdN8n-zAGDUAZLtXFrhnE747-e/s400/dolphin+hat.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
*Having researched the topic thoroughly (on Reddit) I think that only one or two scientists have ever suggested this, but let's roll with it.<br />
<complete></complete><br />
<b>Our education system will change forever</b>
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<complete>Well, now that dolphins are our non-human equals, everyone needs to know more about them. Dolphin studies will be integrated into every school subject; there will be a GCSE History module called 'Dolphin attitudes to gender politics in the nineteenth century', and A-level Maths will include a compulsory term dedicated to Dolphin Algebra, based on the famous theorem of the great dolphin mathematician Senicicicicascreeee (</complete><img alt="\surd \!\," class="tex" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/math/1/e/7/1e7f8a9cc31a5c86bea281fcf5469160.png" style="border: none; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.1875px; text-align: -webkit-center; vertical-align: middle;" />fish=plankton!/carp). You will even be able to specialise in the language of dolphins to degree level, and courses will require you to spend your third year in a dolphin community. You'll probably end up having a dolphin pen-pal at some point during your school life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSqOzJ-uwdbfhI7oVdMAfJBmdy4SGYA9y6ojiSM0x_YgUU8OHDgwu84M3Bt59FYiPO_SsIHOvnVI5R_A2RrWC9EIrgQ1Re7VNesUDNOb_QbYeMubFecoG5f_l0VoEAsr1rO3QidDxu57Ub/s1600/dolphin+society.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSqOzJ-uwdbfhI7oVdMAfJBmdy4SGYA9y6ojiSM0x_YgUU8OHDgwu84M3Bt59FYiPO_SsIHOvnVI5R_A2RrWC9EIrgQ1Re7VNesUDNOb_QbYeMubFecoG5f_l0VoEAsr1rO3QidDxu57Ub/s400/dolphin+society.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>Politics will look slightly different</b></div>
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Assuming that dolphin suffrage is granted, politicians will be desperate to gain the dolphin vote. This means that their campaigns will start to look especially fishy. "A fair wage for dolphin performers!" they'll cry, "Yes we flipping can!" So much attention will be bestowed upon our marine friends that humans may start to feel a bit left out when campaigning starts. Don't worry though, because it will turn out that the dolphin vote won't count for much, because they'll be busy raising up their own candidates. The first dolphin candidate to stand for UK election will be a member of the Green Party, and will take part in a five-party televised debate, where she will charm the population with her wit, charisma and level-headed suggestions.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSi2eFiKLPE50MGMwW7xczSK4Lb9n2oddQI0iJFFvC-nGhn6oJ5ANTDOylsS1AC-kzZ3Is_lp18ATYAKVm_4RYfj2RsH7KLvyfVcrq6WLD4STAPZogFkOFRIgvaCdnX_3SR_UX0ccwAQEt/s1600/dolphin+president.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSi2eFiKLPE50MGMwW7xczSK4Lb9n2oddQI0iJFFvC-nGhn6oJ5ANTDOylsS1AC-kzZ3Is_lp18ATYAKVm_4RYfj2RsH7KLvyfVcrq6WLD4STAPZogFkOFRIgvaCdnX_3SR_UX0ccwAQEt/s400/dolphin+president.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>Merpeople</b></div>
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I wasn't sure whether to touch upon this subject, since at the moment it would be considered bestiality, but it seems perfectly possible that if humans and dolphins were given equal rights, breeding between the species would occur. I mean, in Harry Potter, Hagrid was half-human, half-giant, and that was perfectly acceptable (ish). Well, we have people marrying the Berlin Wall and whatnot now, why not dolphins? Let's not think about this too much, except to consider that this would probably lead to another exciting new species - merpeople.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitXQN6rv7oJmKcN83h8ZBcQamee4QAb4f0w8py_d8XtapfRvEBjWC3mn9vownXdeVY4hl0BlUKfcLpqfNAjscUUhrcAjGwB-GNPeGnKRGlsIX3Wyb6t02kY0FXsIlfsnHLuTgD35gdrXme/s1600/little+mermaid.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitXQN6rv7oJmKcN83h8ZBcQamee4QAb4f0w8py_d8XtapfRvEBjWC3mn9vownXdeVY4hl0BlUKfcLpqfNAjscUUhrcAjGwB-GNPeGnKRGlsIX3Wyb6t02kY0FXsIlfsnHLuTgD35gdrXme/s400/little+mermaid.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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We'd have hot crustacean bands playing all over the world.</div>
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<b>Humans could be given non-dolphin rights</b></div>
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Maybe dolphins would return the favour and give us rights under their laws! What if we've got it all backwards, and they're considering giving us rights? What if we get their rights before we give them theirs? What will we do? What laws will we follow? If we don't hurry up, we'll be introduced into their society and we'll have to give up our politics and education and everything and do everything under their regime! </div>
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But it might not be so bad. To quote Douglas Adams, <span style="color: #666666;">"...on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5e44EaQ5rP9Zxvg2T_PITAacG6kbBVcnwWmNsOcwMuOXykxzi29oUwX5tqcxaye3EDTRM1b0OCXy3lOGN8k1ClKdgn0tPWcUMLJxtgysuBLssPyIwAmkze0_SLOLpexGNcu6Y-Klkb9JR/s1600/dolphin+buddy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5e44EaQ5rP9Zxvg2T_PITAacG6kbBVcnwWmNsOcwMuOXykxzi29oUwX5tqcxaye3EDTRM1b0OCXy3lOGN8k1ClKdgn0tPWcUMLJxtgysuBLssPyIwAmkze0_SLOLpexGNcu6Y-Klkb9JR/s400/dolphin+buddy.jpg" width="321" /></a></div>
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Images: The Telegraph, floridamemory.com, dvdverdict.com, learnnc.org, localguiding.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-67613683676990827032013-11-01T17:19:00.000+00:002013-11-01T17:32:41.845+00:00My 3 failed attempts at doing exerciseExercise and I have never been pals. We've met on occasion, but in each instance I got the feeling that she's inwardly sneering at me. Competitive sports are a no-no - mainly because I can't do the 'competitive' bit (forgive me, but the idea of briefly being named the best at a game that will invariably involve running after a ball of some sort seems to lack any sort of benefit apart from a fleeting sensation of smugness, which you cannot express to anyone for fear of appearing smug).<br />
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Here is a rare image of me after an attempt at exercise:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9HzdcJA4G60UlHy2WYX8sxq_dOwZ0Z0l3hr6Cvhwzua0fqMf30FutsTQjDM1ltvbSwEHndsmrV2v-_ULdXPBQLjIx0fCXEiz2DJHTheScSSDzJpRJyqJ8mXIhxX11DYzAhsqFHvXpBlG/s1600/26887_382448348211_6907609_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-9HzdcJA4G60UlHy2WYX8sxq_dOwZ0Z0l3hr6Cvhwzua0fqMf30FutsTQjDM1ltvbSwEHndsmrV2v-_ULdXPBQLjIx0fCXEiz2DJHTheScSSDzJpRJyqJ8mXIhxX11DYzAhsqFHvXpBlG/s400/26887_382448348211_6907609_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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To me, exercise only has any appeal if a) no one can see me, and b) it doesn't make me feel like death. The chances of this are often slim. However, I have made an effort to try and exercise a few times this year, with varying results:<br />
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<a name='more'></a><b>1) I tried to do a Pilates workout, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCg_gh_fppI" target="_blank">similar to this</a>.</b></div>
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Trying to find an alternative to jogging, an activity that triggers a frankly embarrassing display of puffing and wheezing, I had a brainwave: Pilates. If you just watch the video, it doesn't look like the woman is doing anything difficult. To the untrained eye, she lies on her back and does a few stretches, all without breaking a sweat. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCr8lod6e2rBEQU-I77MTaDXmGjGpW2VTtXoykuFrq4SyZnnZYFvovGULK9AlccbRDkUdL5FuPpIcN_ekVgLLrsBFUMMKkgxkgzvS8eCj0ZCy_A8KBYBaxqHHtesccyzNWPdTB_PxTuxqu/s1600/pilates.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCr8lod6e2rBEQU-I77MTaDXmGjGpW2VTtXoykuFrq4SyZnnZYFvovGULK9AlccbRDkUdL5FuPpIcN_ekVgLLrsBFUMMKkgxkgzvS8eCj0ZCy_A8KBYBaxqHHtesccyzNWPdTB_PxTuxqu/s400/pilates.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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This just looks like a fun pose for a photo, doesn't it? WRONG. There is NOTHING fun about this. Pilates stretches muscle you didn't even know existed. It even tells you when to breathe, like some kind of evil totalitarian regime. I am not exaggerating when I say that I nearly fainted. I partly blame my bean-shaped head (don't get me started on this) - my skull doesn't stick out very much at the back, so if I lie on my back all the blood goes to my head. But mainly I blame the crazily painful stretches combined with inconceivable breathing regulations. Never again.</div>
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<b>2) I went for a five-minute jog.</b></div>
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By my old house in York, there was a lovely footpath next to the river that ran all the way into the centre of town. One day, I steeled up my courage and decided I would walk halfway to town and then run back. Something nice to ease my return to exercise. The walk to town was 15 minutes at most. Running half that distance home seemed like it would be a doddle. Well. </div>
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About a minute into the run, I thought about stopping and walking. Well, not really thought, more like <i>longed for</i>. But I stupidly went for this run at about 6pm, i.e. primetime for people walking and cycling to and from town.. I couldn't just stop, everyone would judge me! They probably already were, due to my wheezy breath and pained expression. I had to get home. I had to get home. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhinFwfWdHb_Fwdb_x4bj86QJ9GYk-awdyokq9hEAlFdirvO_e9wA1sgi2Vc0AGVvUlB5KkoLUJu7QZGFF43xos9GpdCK6SpgazIY00UoppTHzf1iAmSGtOtQPnVKtR4mXVXfxnoayiMlqe/s1600/ed+milliband+off+for+a+jog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhinFwfWdHb_Fwdb_x4bj86QJ9GYk-awdyokq9hEAlFdirvO_e9wA1sgi2Vc0AGVvUlB5KkoLUJu7QZGFF43xos9GpdCK6SpgazIY00UoppTHzf1iAmSGtOtQPnVKtR4mXVXfxnoayiMlqe/s400/ed+milliband+off+for+a+jog.jpg" width="325" /></a></div>
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So I kept going, running and running until I got home and collapsed on the doormat. Then I looked at my watch and realised I'd only been running for FIVE MINUTES. From my beetroot countenance, you'd assume I'd run a marathon. And by the way, the adrenaline rush you get afterwards? SO NOT WORTH IT.</div>
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<b>3) I bought a sports bra.</b></div>
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Like the proverbial bad workman, I decided to blame my lack of luck with exercise on my tools. Obviously I wasn't wearing clothing designed for the task in hand. I had the right trainers - Alex had seen to that - but I hadn't bought any other specialist clothing.</div>
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So, I spent a whole evening researching the best sports bras for my body shape and the kind of exercise I wanted to do (none), and at about midnight I finally placed my order at a delightful online shop called <a href="http://www.lessbounce.com/" target="_blank">Less Bounce</a>. I was so excited when I got the parcel a few days later. Well, of course I was, I love getting parcels. Plus I chose a really blue and yellow design.</div>
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I think that was in June. I've never worn it, except to try it on and marvel at how sporty I look.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNabQ2VKz7GtpW7bab2FarKaOzzMXYsMsJyOBdtX7KwUnNaSqGAkUk_jXV6hS-Kgo0oGblVHpSZUn-UpWyfujWV0tXt3wB2oNCoCCp7F3Aw4lPcGJCogwWgI8ovUkMJ3Y9OcPJzhPIWwCe/s1600/miranda+rowing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNabQ2VKz7GtpW7bab2FarKaOzzMXYsMsJyOBdtX7KwUnNaSqGAkUk_jXV6hS-Kgo0oGblVHpSZUn-UpWyfujWV0tXt3wB2oNCoCCp7F3Aw4lPcGJCogwWgI8ovUkMJ3Y9OcPJzhPIWwCe/s400/miranda+rowing.jpg" width="363" /></a></div>
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The moral of this tale of woe is that conventional exercise is not for me. Instead, because I want to be healthy without fainting, I try and exercise in the following unconventional ways:</div>
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- swinging my legs under my desk</div>
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- laughing excessively</div>
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- fidgeting</div>
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- chasing cats from my garden</div>
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- running upstairs to get to the shower before anyone else</div>
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- shivering</div>
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I'm finding this exercise regime far more preferable and less deathly.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-87693280844992009352013-10-25T21:53:00.000+01:002013-10-25T23:50:14.539+01:004 surprisingly accurate predictions for the future from 1999In 2001, when I was but 9 years old, I bought this rather handy volume by Peter Corey:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLIw87G7Wh0jfLKHla8CnTyiM6aKtdQSBqQ0lROwsID0X3bLjgm9YX-6WOLXVoHUGPXfrNEVhZalATthuYDipFl4ER-Ay_9l3wIVYrCLpx1ziM0bbmwb7bjl_0I6PdxFqA7oB1SP14-Ott/s1600/coping+with+the+21st+century.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLIw87G7Wh0jfLKHla8CnTyiM6aKtdQSBqQ0lROwsID0X3bLjgm9YX-6WOLXVoHUGPXfrNEVhZalATthuYDipFl4ER-Ay_9l3wIVYrCLpx1ziM0bbmwb7bjl_0I6PdxFqA7oB1SP14-Ott/s400/coping+with+the+21st+century.jpg" width="255" /></a></div>
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The book humorously details predictions for the rest of this century, and as soon as I started reading I decided that I would keep this book for the rest of my life and see if anything came true. Everything I read sounded absolutely ludicrous when I read it in 2001. Now I'm toying with the idea that Peter Corey is a time-traveller. Check this out:</div>
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<b>1) "We picked Thursday 24 November 2009, and asked Neville the psychic cockle... to do his stuff. Here's what he came up with:</b><br />
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<b>In: Bobble hats, lemon-coloured duffel coats and anything made of seaweed.</b></div>
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<b>Out: Flares." (p78)</b></div>
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How nine-year-old Grace chuckled to herself when she read this! Well, she's laughing on the other side of her face now. Here is an authentic photo from online fashion magazine <a href="http://www.freshnessmag.com/2009/11/09/bewwin-jannis-duffle-coat/" target="_blank">FreshnessMag</a> dated November 2009:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeN0rRBQSx7ylSl1CkrOhnHg3suvS7Knhhd-sPPvQ8reLQs3oX9F1gN-8V3IYs-SkWyhc2kPx6quyKW_NLDmZeosxoO31gzGr5ZqpNCGRZRUzTiY3KUPFDVVFsuqE6QO9c6BYxJdHThNz/s1600/yellow+duffle+coat+november+2009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCeN0rRBQSx7ylSl1CkrOhnHg3suvS7Knhhd-sPPvQ8reLQs3oX9F1gN-8V3IYs-SkWyhc2kPx6quyKW_NLDmZeosxoO31gzGr5ZqpNCGRZRUzTiY3KUPFDVVFsuqE6QO9c6BYxJdHThNz/s400/yellow+duffle+coat+november+2009.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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And here's a photo of Cheryl Cole in November 2009, helping to spark widespread support for the once-dying trend:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoxV7ngXON_YyHNeDJpPcTLScxs-n-4M2NLRqBpVHJVLDgQJK2GaeFFbqReUgPeBj9cGxYGlqowuDTpR7zQz0mgJV8ULn6hIKFJCZqFmPKd41m6xVTmOoc4vleFxgZQlE36yN8xbBK2Iv6/s1600/cheryl+cole+bobble+hat+november+2009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoxV7ngXON_YyHNeDJpPcTLScxs-n-4M2NLRqBpVHJVLDgQJK2GaeFFbqReUgPeBj9cGxYGlqowuDTpR7zQz0mgJV8ULn6hIKFJCZqFmPKd41m6xVTmOoc4vleFxgZQlE36yN8xbBK2Iv6/s1600/cheryl+cole+bobble+hat+november+2009.jpg" /></a></div>
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And if you recall, flares were most certainly out in 2009. Not sure about the seaweed thing though.</div>
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<b>2) "Every now and again the world goes on a huge fitness kick, usually started by the Americans. Nearly two decades of sitting in front of computers, plus the fact that home shopping will have replaced the weekly trip to the supermarket, will mean that most developed countries will be full of extremely unfit people...We'll certainly be made to feel a lot guiltier if we don't make an effort." (pp92-3)</b></div>
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Well, I mean, in the run-up to and aftermath of the Olympics, I certainly went through a phase of occasionally going for a jog. I'm pretty sure a lot of people (myself included) feel guilty for not exercising. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHoz_J6ipur1Y45Bxn6ReGKjG6JmhQwqAd29m3tj00s65mlEOSmNcRXVl1BQTt0ro5DPhOsJBU_ACySRNXy2unbSw0nckptRFIpcYELdbwMc-M4cL4vz76NMnpCRX7pOW9ZqGASwPNL9IZ/s1600/wenlock+and+mandeville.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHoz_J6ipur1Y45Bxn6ReGKjG6JmhQwqAd29m3tj00s65mlEOSmNcRXVl1BQTt0ro5DPhOsJBU_ACySRNXy2unbSw0nckptRFIpcYELdbwMc-M4cL4vz76NMnpCRX7pOW9ZqGASwPNL9IZ/s400/wenlock+and+mandeville.jpg" width="390" /></a></div>
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Hello old friends. This gives me hope that this is all just a phase and I won't have to feel guilty for much longer.</div>
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<b>3) "The videophone will be in common use." (p99)</b></div>
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On 21 January 2013, Skype had more 50 million simultaneous online users, i.e. 0.7% of the whole world. I think constitutes common use.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5bcPbbW9SkwSWDpu4DlvGNlU5ejw_8XZuYohKre9f5rEVBWpvsSJ1f8PJSvVDvVnapJiw2-ZFdF4fOKcJkBodW-v94tGbJpQmk2At4riK_n7el51Vyv12eEuGhfWaosBJlVlmapVFirYD/s1600/skype+cartoon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5bcPbbW9SkwSWDpu4DlvGNlU5ejw_8XZuYohKre9f5rEVBWpvsSJ1f8PJSvVDvVnapJiw2-ZFdF4fOKcJkBodW-v94tGbJpQmk2At4riK_n7el51Vyv12eEuGhfWaosBJlVlmapVFirYD/s400/skype+cartoon.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>4) "...every sport will now be televised, and therefore attract sponsorship. And when I say "every", I do mean <i>every</i>" (p79)</b></div>
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A couple of years ago, I was flicking through TV channels and I came across what I think was the World Domino Championships. It was like a 3-hour programme. No actual joke. No further proof needed.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRJD7kUZ2Pjsz017CCD6J2xQittI9nV_BHCv1ASZ1Tfm1WZRwS-VWd33XcTWqTRwtWtE2TK2iiaHDz_Bnh2KxciI-lJwT0rCWsoWIT8jZS0SdRaBpZWHTjK0XqBsF4p9aZoj_NkvyjScFG/s1600/domino+championships.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRJD7kUZ2Pjsz017CCD6J2xQittI9nV_BHCv1ASZ1Tfm1WZRwS-VWd33XcTWqTRwtWtE2TK2iiaHDz_Bnh2KxciI-lJwT0rCWsoWIT8jZS0SdRaBpZWHTjK0XqBsF4p9aZoj_NkvyjScFG/s400/domino+championships.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I'm pretty sure I watched most of it as well.</div>
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I am now more than convinced that <i>Coping with the 21st Century</i> is one of the most important books I own. If you haven't read it, I wholeheartedly recommend it (it costs 1p on Amazon!).</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-84736809974147001662013-10-18T23:46:00.002+01:002013-10-19T10:34:51.881+01:00What should I blog about?Do you ever find that the old creativity spout dries up every once in a while? It may shock you to discover that even <i>I</i> sometimes struggle to think of things to write about (I know, you'd never guess, right?). But, I've devised a nifty solution to this little mental pickle (you may note that I I had to resort to using it last week). Dear readers, I am about to share my most valuable secret with you. May it serve you well.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q6AKmAGedCY/UmJRBxe_zSI/AAAAAAAAAgc/b46M-mRB7gk/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-q6AKmAGedCY/UmJRBxe_zSI/AAAAAAAAAgc/b46M-mRB7gk/s640/image.jpg" width="480" /></a></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-22456172838123544702013-10-11T22:17:00.001+01:002013-10-11T22:19:20.579+01:004 shifty schemes that my cats might possibly be working onRecently, I've noticed some particularly shifty behaviour going on on the part of the feline members of the household. I know that all cats are clever and manipulative, but Poppy and Rosie are behaving like secret cat agents. They only leave the house in shifts, never at the same time. When they're swapping shifts, they sniff each others noses, as if they're communicating in code. Poppy keeps voluntarily going outside in the rain, something cats NEVER do, and when I go and look for her, she's always in the rockery. As soon as she sees me, she miaows and runs back inside. Clearly, the cats are planning a covert operation, and our rockery is housing something instrumental to the task. I've been speculating about what they might be up to.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMu1A3UylJRuCBI0-9dtN1mJlPpMYbYLvDVkExEwNfmvaeaPK7mNfvZQcf5ZooV0GG15YnGH7Y5VskD3TqMSLIFIgs4Yw8p2cUPH1oZr5cUfU2GxShHo4XSNQaEtOqeY8DuyWqekRtGmUQ/s1600/Photo0368.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMu1A3UylJRuCBI0-9dtN1mJlPpMYbYLvDVkExEwNfmvaeaPK7mNfvZQcf5ZooV0GG15YnGH7Y5VskD3TqMSLIFIgs4Yw8p2cUPH1oZr5cUfU2GxShHo4XSNQaEtOqeY8DuyWqekRtGmUQ/s400/Photo0368.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I leave this information in your charge, dear reader. If I suddenly go missing, you'll know why.</div>
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<b>Royal Mail takeover</b><br />
We've heard that the government are selling off state shares in the Royal Mail, thus privatising the service. What if the shares have been bought by the Ministry of Cats? Imagine how much havoc they could wreak if they owned our postal service! Letters from the vet could conveniently go missing. Cat owners could randomly receive boxes of cat food, which they would have no choice but to give to their cats. If they went about it in the right way, they could probably end up bringing down the government and electing themselves into power! The possibilities are endless. I reckon our rockery is full to bursting with important letters to political leaders. Imagine if David Cameron got a letter from Barack Obama, but the reply was never delivered... We could have a full-scale political crisis on our hands. And amid the chaos, dust and rubble, a new leader will emerge. A new, furry leader.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic4KE7YxQQJthA9uh7Sy702CZNgm1sJpdv1c0V2-S6q1gnSt_I87c5wb8qYke_c0ePj4J2alwXXJyzwIkDB7A8xKbznyg1oDofJqwF9IG3OOBYB9Q44ZCt4H03NcDu_DBBxqAa-462Ksw9/s1600/464782_10150586897141486_209164441_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic4KE7YxQQJthA9uh7Sy702CZNgm1sJpdv1c0V2-S6q1gnSt_I87c5wb8qYke_c0ePj4J2alwXXJyzwIkDB7A8xKbznyg1oDofJqwF9IG3OOBYB9Q44ZCt4H03NcDu_DBBxqAa-462Ksw9/s400/464782_10150586897141486_209164441_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<b>Franken-kitty</b><br />
Or maybe it's an experiment that's got out of hand. Poppy and Rosie, as the foremost cat scientists of their generation, have been working on the creation of their own cat, a super-cat. Being scientists, they're a little bit geeky and not very good at fighting other cats, which is highly impractical in our cat-ridden neighbourhood. They build a cat from parts of other animals. Technically, the super-cat is half-fox. But now they've made it, they can't control it. They keep it in the rockery, pacifying it with regular offerings of birds and mice. Will it be enough? Only time will tell.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSVNKRLB2zoazzgDWN3cNCXXyz6S6Q2IegIbttDuCjTjatwijYwoKli4_0WfwADf3qXygTXIotW3p1H-abSgecsJWNgNxInKdNxXWNI9o7aJxpCO_3X-ngW1181H1U3TBc9PxhTcYcs9yf/s1600/281503_10150276555124537_5797278_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSVNKRLB2zoazzgDWN3cNCXXyz6S6Q2IegIbttDuCjTjatwijYwoKli4_0WfwADf3qXygTXIotW3p1H-abSgecsJWNgNxInKdNxXWNI9o7aJxpCO_3X-ngW1181H1U3TBc9PxhTcYcs9yf/s400/281503_10150276555124537_5797278_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<b><br />
</b> <b>Spying on the mouse government</b><br />
Alternatively, they could be working to protect us. I know, I know, it doesn't seem very likely, but you must consider that we are creatures that are easily bent to their will, and it is through us that they gain exactly the right sort of food and shelter without having to lift a paw. But what if the mice had an evil plot to destroy mankind? It would be relatively simple as most humans scream and stand on chairs at the sight of a mouse. In fact, <i>The Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy </i>hints at mice being far more sentient beings than we realise, and I think that counts as some sort of evidence. Poppy and Rosie are no doubt sitting in on their plotting meetings (which happen in the rockery), and the mice suspect nothing because the cats are disguised as mice. "That's ludicrous!" you all cry. Well, take a look at this photo of Poppy quite clearly disguised as a mouse:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_iu-shQdfo9x-JdTX4mihQ_EM23AkxSKF1GRaCSgvD8tC91LcdjewarL564oC11heatd5SLYF8TJBW0HrrvkPSJ-URaDRnZu-gLbEK1ZYm258rrw8NaBkRiLo2sdBNqeWPCAIklAeC939/s1600/Photo0361.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_iu-shQdfo9x-JdTX4mihQ_EM23AkxSKF1GRaCSgvD8tC91LcdjewarL564oC11heatd5SLYF8TJBW0HrrvkPSJ-URaDRnZu-gLbEK1ZYm258rrw8NaBkRiLo2sdBNqeWPCAIklAeC939/s400/Photo0361.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
PROOF POSITIVE.<br />
<b><br />
Cats work for Father Christmas</b><br />
Just hear me out, okay? Why now, why <i>now</i> the sudden interest in the rockery? The only item in the near future marked on the cat calendar is Christmas. This makes me think that perhaps the rockery has something to do with the build up to Christmas. Here's the thing. Obviously Santa can't deliver everyone's presents in one night, the idea is absurd. He needs a lot more help than a couple of elves in Lapland. I think I've worked it all out. The cats work for Father Christmas. I mean, cats are everywhere, right? Each cat is responsible for a few different households, depending on the cat-human ratio in the area. Santa drops off the presents every so often during October, November and December, as they get made, and they are stored in a secure space, in this case our rockery. Poppy and Rosie are taking it in shifts to guard the rockery so that we don't see the presents. Aww, how sweet! Well, obviously they're not doing it without payment - I imagine Father Christmas rewards his workers handsomely otherwise I am certain they wouldn't go through with it. This would explain why we always get Christmas cards signed by the cats as well.<br />
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If you have any other theories as to what my cats might be up to, do let me know (serious replies only).Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-50315964543539973612013-10-04T17:47:00.000+01:002013-10-04T18:36:18.521+01:005 reasons why we make questionable shopping decisionsDo you ever just randomly spend a load of money without knowing why? I did that the other day. I was walking into town to catch the bus when suddenly I was in a shop buying clothes. I knew that I couldn't really afford what I was buying. I had even made a pact in my head to just go straight to the bus station. But for something had overridden this sensible notion, and even when I left the shop I wasn't entirely sure what had happened.<br />
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The <a href="http://www.shopaholicsanonymous.org/" target="_blank">Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft, Spending and Hoarding</a> lists 8 possible causes of shopping addiction. Although I'm not addicted to shopping, I thought it would be useful to look at why I needlessly splurge out every so often. I've taken 5 of the causes and described them, suggested excuses you might make to justify your purchases and ways you could combat them. I've written this as much for myself as for you guys, obviously.<br />
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<b>Inability to tolerate negative feelings</b><br />
Shopping to make yourself feel better is really difficult to avoid because it creates such a great temporary high. Bad moods disappear in the glare of shiny new things! And then you love them so much that you use them everyday, and then they get old and you get sad again. Vicious circle. Ladies, there have been studies which suggest that we're more likely to overspend and impulse buy during the last ten days of our menstrual cycles, with the likelihood increasing daily up until the last day. Apparently, it's because it's one of the most socially acceptable ways of dealing with PMS. As far as I know, there haven't been any similar studies for men, but since we know that men also go through a form of PMS, I guess you can't rule this cause out. Of course, it might not be pure hormones, you might feel blue for other reasons. I had an awful night's sleep, had to get up early, was absolutely full of cold, and top it off, it was flipping raining! I really had no alternative but to shop.<br />
<u><b>Common excuses:</b></u> "This will make me look great and therefore feel great"; "It's unhealthy to feel this rubbish, so buying this must be healthy"; "This is a small price for my happiness"<br />
<u><b>Coping strategy:</b></u> Have a cup of tea and a massive bar of chocolate instead (hey, I never said I was some kind advice expert)<br />
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<b>Excitement seeking</b><br />
Shopping out of pure boredom - I've certainly been there. Because shops are full of new things, it's like you're going to experience the unknown, to unlock a minefield of potential. Why don't I buy this cool hat that will totally transform my look and make me seem like a different, cooler person? Imagine life as the girl with the Trilby... it's so much more exciting than my life now! But, as I said, the new things get old and so it's a danger to get trapped in this mindset.<br />
<u><b>Common excuses:</b></u> "This is just something to do, I'd end up spending money somewhere else even if I hadn't gone shopping because I'm so flipping bored"<br />
<u><b>Coping strategy:</b></u> Go to charity shops instead, so it's more of a mission to find stuff you like and it goes to a good cause! Or, find other ways to make your own fun a la Miranda:<br />
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<b>Approval seeking</b><br />
You know what it's like: you meet some really cool people and you want them to like you so basically copy them and pretend like you've always been like that and oh how weird is it that we're so similar haha we should be like best friends lol jk but still pretty weird huh lol. It's pathetic, but sadly it happens. The thing is, it never actually works unless you're trying to befriend really shallow people, because it's an act that obviously can't last forever - they'll see through you eventually, and now you've wasted your money.<br />
<u><b>Common excuses:</b></u> "If I get this thing, I'll look cool so they'll like me better, so it's worth the money"; "This looks expensive, it will make me look like I can afford to wear stuff like this all the time"<br />
<b><u>Coping strategy</u>:</b> Stick to making friends who actually get to know and accept you as you are, and be open to the idea that those 'cool' people might think you're 'cooler' if you have your own style.<br />
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<b>Perfectionism</b><br />
You're one of those people that needs an object for every possible purpose, and under no circumstances will ever own an incomplete set of everything. I get it with make up, because I feel like I need an item to fulfil every one of my facial needs. If I see an item of make-up that I don't have in any form, I find it hard to reason myself out of buying it. <i>Par exemple</i>, do you remember when BB cream came out, and it was hailed as the best make-up product ever, and we all flocked to Boots to test this mysteriously-named product? And yeah, I guess it was pretty good. But almost as soon as I'd bought BB cream, CC cream suddenly became a thing! What the flip is CC cream? Well, it's like BB cream, but with even better coverage and it's way more moisturising! What? Why didn't they just invent this first? For goodness' sake! Fine, I'll have to get some CC cream then! And yes, it was much better than BB cream! The thing is, I hate wearing any kind of foundation on my face, no matter how light it is, so I've literally used it like twice. But I still had to buy it, of course, because without it my make-up collection would be incomplete. About ten minutes later, DD creams started being advertised. Grrr.<br />
<u><b>Common excuses:</b></u> "I have to complete the set, what's the point of the set without this item?"; "This isn't like anything else I own so it makes sense to buy it"<br />
<u><b>Coping strategy:</b></u> Question yourself - could you go on living your life without this item? Did you think you had any need of it whatsoever until you saw the advert for it? No? Thought not. Maybe just wait for ZZ cream to come out.<br />
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<b>Genuinely impulsive and compulsive</b><br />
Yeah, I think this is the main cause of my overspending. I don't like mulling over decisions, ever. I honestly would rather pay a little bit more than miserably compare prices and options and all that kerfuffle (good word). Additionally, I never try things on in shops unless I'm shopping with friends, and I never return items. I look upon it as a kind of challenge, like if I buy it I just have to make it work, even if it's ten sizes too big or clashes with every other garment in my wardrobe. Them's the (completely self-imposed) rules. It's like my fashion destiny, or something.<br />
<u><b>Common excuses:</b></u> "I like it, I'll buy it!" And, in most cases, "you can always take it back"<br />
<u><b>Coping strategy:</b></u> If you're going to be like this, try and limit it to low-cost purchases. I think charity shops are a good environment for these impulsive tendencies because they allow you to take a chance on things that you might not normally buy. It's a bit hit-and-miss, but at least you're doing some good without breaking the bank.<br />
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Images: devchunichka.blogspot.com; picstopin.com; mads-about-town.co.uk; starpulse.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-45694372203917816952013-09-27T23:00:00.000+01:002013-09-27T23:01:16.195+01:00Fun ways to jazz up unemploymentIt's an unfortunate fact that since graduating I have been unemployed; in fact nobody seems to want to pay me any money. Nobody, that is, except the government, who have been doling out my weekly benefit. The thing is, having a continuous stream of rejections filling your inbox and frequently having to hang around the Job Centre can give your self-esteem a bit of a knock.And there's no more student loan, so you can't even shop to make yourself feel better! [Clueless voice] As if!<br />
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So, it's time to lighten the mood. The grass is always greener, right? At least you're not one of the guys always complaining about their job, or moaning about their boss. You'll never be this free from monotonous drudgery until retirement! Let's make the most of this unemployment malarkey! Who's with me? Ride to ruin and the world's ending! What say you? What say you?!<br />
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HUZZAH<br />
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HUZZAH<br />
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HUZZAH<br />
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Ok, I know there are a lot of important things to think about, and obviously most of your time is spent job-hunting, but you've still got more time than people who have jobs, right? Come on, let's stay upbeat.<br />
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<b>Write that best-seller.</b><br />
Apparently everyone has a novel inside them just waiting to be set free, so don't keep it locked up in that dingy prison cell you call a brain! What are you, some kind of sicko?<b> </b>Wrench open those metal bars with your Hugh Jackman biceps and let the words flutter out, landing onto your computer screen. I imagine that's how novel writing goes.<br />
Stuck for what to write? Here's a simple tip: look inside your soul, and observe first the harmonies, then the discords. If that doesn't inspire you, maybe just write some Harry Potter fan-fiction.<br />
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<b>Knit all your Christmas presents.</b><br />
Wool and needles are cheap, but you need to start quickly if you're going to finish in time! How many on your list? 5, 6, 20, 30? You need to start now. Right now.<b> </b><br />
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<b>Pretend you're a spy working undercover.</b><br />
If someone asks you what you do, tell them you have a really mundane job, but be vague about key details, like what the company does, and what your boss is like. And every so often, just ask really interrogative questions, like you're trying to get specific information out of them, e.g. "What are your views on your Uncle Nigel's will?"; "How would you describe your relationship with Cecil?" (I watch so many spy movies). Wear your thick-framed glasses like a disguise, and always wear a large overcoat, even during the yearly heatwave.<br />
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<b>Bake along with the Great British Bake Off.*</b> <br />
No silly, I don't mean while you're watching the programme, that would be one crazy party! You know when you watch the Bake Off and you just salivate the whole time over what they're making? Things like macaroons or fondant fancies, things that would never have entered your head until you started watching. And you just wish you had all the food on screen in your living room right then. Well, the next best thing is to just pick the baked goods you craved the most whilst watching, find the recipe and bake them! And the good news is, you have actual time! So you can even go crazy and make a croquembouche!<br />
<i>*Disclaimer - although this will indeed jazz up unemployment, it will not jazz up your bank balance.</i><br />
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<b>Get emotionally attached to TV characters.</b><br />
Unlike employed folk, you don't have the society of work colleagues to occupy your mind, leaving it desperate to form relationships with people that <i>just aren't there</i>. Do your mind a favour and let it believe that Pacey Witter is real, and you're best mates with Lorelai Gilmore, and your flatmate is Nick Miller, and you've been invited to Barney and Robin's wedding. Really, until you get a job, it's incredibly healthy. Incredibly.<br />
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Images: thegraduateuk.wordpress.com; uproxx.com; thecourier.co.uk; procrastinatewithtundiel.blogspot.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-70793164426841495352013-09-20T22:35:00.000+01:002013-09-24T19:01:00.030+01:00New Girl MBTI (Myers-Briggs) personality typesHave you ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality test? There are lots of online versions of the test, but the best one I've seen is probably <a href="http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp" target="_blank">this one</a>. I don't massively trust it since I've taken it maybe 5 or 6 times and I've come out with a different result every single time, but it's still quite fun to do (FYI, the latest result was ISFP). Seeing as New Girl season 3 has just started in the U.S., I thought it might be quite fun to work out what personality types the main characters fitted into. Here are the results (please excuse these terrible pictures, especially the John-Travolta-esque Schmidt, I won't tell you what an embarrassingly long time it took me):<br />
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<a name='more'></a><b>Jess - ESFP - Extroverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving</b></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"ESFJs value loyalty and tradition, and usually make their family and friends their top priority. They are generous with their time, effort, and emotions."</span></blockquote>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="font-weight: bold;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 22.390625px;">"They often take on the concerns of others as if they were their own, and will attempt to put their significant organizational talents to use to bring order to other people's lives."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZZNgTruH7RSYOz_TJgUhT8jQBoDDl71IqUo_uZ0bZg8IC4-sDJRtdaKnZhFUNzCe3dloVt8Ayddo6XGuvb-GFrEwIl4wqP9eLmXTHcN4s5BVflmAueXr3vFzVdG-uIz7-KdHJrNPkzCRK/s320/vlcsnap-2011-11-03-21h11m02s182.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZZNgTruH7RSYOz_TJgUhT8jQBoDDl71IqUo_uZ0bZg8IC4-sDJRtdaKnZhFUNzCe3dloVt8Ayddo6XGuvb-GFrEwIl4wqP9eLmXTHcN4s5BVflmAueXr3vFzVdG-uIz7-KdHJrNPkzCRK/s320/vlcsnap-2011-11-03-21h11m02s182.png" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">They can be judgmental of others who they do not think are acting appropriately, but they have the best of intentions: they simply want everyone to follow the rules so they can all get along. The ESFJ wants things to be all right with the people around them, and may become very involved with others’ problems and concerns."</span></blockquote>
<b>Nick - ISTP - Introverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving</b><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Os399xd9Lmw/UjyswEMqWJI/AAAAAAAAAY0/bK0vChgnSZA/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Os399xd9Lmw/UjyswEMqWJI/AAAAAAAAAY0/bK0vChgnSZA/s400/image.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"ISTPs are attentive to details and responsive to the demands of the world around them. Because of their astute sense of their environment, they are good at moving quickly and responding to emergencies. ISTPs are reserved, but not withdrawn: the ISTP enjoys taking action, and approaches the world with a keen appreciation for the physical and sensory experiences it has to offer."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0jPs8bLoquPFSNnb3dkjHmRUPqpwpFVX7Rrt5-9GXWZ_UHQwBxSvLFDZ_C0M0hnetKotF_mabsyAyM_WvYTd-mz9OkFv9bbhMav-oWT-mwGEB5XLGS5YnIm2PqOzaee-1mYPyUZ0JRiP/s1600/fancy+fix.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY0jPs8bLoquPFSNnb3dkjHmRUPqpwpFVX7Rrt5-9GXWZ_UHQwBxSvLFDZ_C0M0hnetKotF_mabsyAyM_WvYTd-mz9OkFv9bbhMav-oWT-mwGEB5XLGS5YnIm2PqOzaee-1mYPyUZ0JRiP/s400/fancy+fix.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"ISTPs are good with their hands and often mechanical. They are typically attracted to hands-on hobbies like woodworking or crafts, and may be found tinkering with bicycles, computers, cars, or household appliances. They often have an intuitive understanding of machines and a remarkable ability to fix things."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="http://tvrecappersanonymous.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/dresser-build.gif?w=500&h=253" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="http://tvrecappersanonymous.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/dresser-build.gif?w=500&h=253" width="400" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"Independent and reserved, ISTPs treasure their personal space, and want to be free to be spontaneous and follow their own lead. ISTPs are selective about their relationships, and appreciate others who allow them plenty of freedom to do their own thing."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMTGz2jR1t_RlfzUbS7CWlowmooZvwf1LSwzXyJ-fCg1ZtQ1oxon69OJ1Wl2K6BwcyBQHshJ3i_hwR5zVZ3ft2eEc9E77fm0LsRjZqhiHmEnZj6oAaczliUx5NhFDFQbw1UAZV7QWuFqkN/s1600/nick+and+jess.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMTGz2jR1t_RlfzUbS7CWlowmooZvwf1LSwzXyJ-fCg1ZtQ1oxon69OJ1Wl2K6BwcyBQHshJ3i_hwR5zVZ3ft2eEc9E77fm0LsRjZqhiHmEnZj6oAaczliUx5NhFDFQbw1UAZV7QWuFqkN/s400/nick+and+jess.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>Schmidt - ESTJ - Extroverted Sensing Thinking Judging</b><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BWwuJYVvbgE/UjysursbIlI/AAAAAAAAAYk/yd-A_A5f54E/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BWwuJYVvbgE/UjysursbIlI/AAAAAAAAAYk/yd-A_A5f54E/s400/image.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">ESTJs are conventional, factual, and grounded in reality. For the ESTJ, the proof is in the past: what has worked and what has been done before. They value evidence over conjecture, and trust their personal experience. ESTJs look for rules to follow and standards to meet, and often take a leadership role in helping other people meet expectations as well. They concern themselves with maintaining the social order and keeping others in line."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3cgs3eoSBR3f18VCvuUgh2HMkYyfYyUgYWuAUGwQt_1CTsUknu_rKqSTqVXFC5Lzym0YsV_hKxRo5eD3ua6Zg20YJPAgcdfqBE4SG2FBTL2EHX0ofKiXaefzvcqwV0ZZcGy39Vn6uY3xP/s1600/pine+has+no+place.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3cgs3eoSBR3f18VCvuUgh2HMkYyfYyUgYWuAUGwQt_1CTsUknu_rKqSTqVXFC5Lzym0YsV_hKxRo5eD3ua6Zg20YJPAgcdfqBE4SG2FBTL2EHX0ofKiXaefzvcqwV0ZZcGy39Vn6uY3xP/s400/pine+has+no+place.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"Social interaction for ESTJs often means following an established tradition to engage with others in a structured way. ESTJs tend to respect and seek out hierarchy. They want to know who’s in charge, and will assign levels of responsibility if none exist."</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></span></blockquote>
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<b>Winston - ISFP - Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving</b><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sGMufBqjCEY/UjysuheIAmI/AAAAAAAAAYs/ws2lYePw0hQ/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sGMufBqjCEY/UjysuheIAmI/AAAAAAAAAYs/ws2lYePw0hQ/s400/image.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"ISFPs are gentle caretakers who live in the present moment and enjoy their surroundings with cheerful, low-key enthusiasm. They are flexible and spontaneous, and like to go with the flow to enjoy what life has to offer."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1L2IKo_2LxTrhpLG_9NPQRWfLZB0kkzv_DdqPetxlJXaD-jH5VJrM2xqH16DrhanvSbuvhfW0p5VMtcoGvGKeCNafJWl0GnwRY97Q1wjTt0CZJU_ZNAD4PiGkgEetUxS3QTAbN9SpFKwS/s1600/winston+schmidt+fish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1L2IKo_2LxTrhpLG_9NPQRWfLZB0kkzv_DdqPetxlJXaD-jH5VJrM2xqH16DrhanvSbuvhfW0p5VMtcoGvGKeCNafJWl0GnwRY97Q1wjTt0CZJU_ZNAD4PiGkgEetUxS3QTAbN9SpFKwS/s400/winston+schmidt+fish.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"They are carefully observant of the practical needs of other people, and often step in with quiet, unassuming assistance at just the moment it is needed. ISFPs prefer to take a supportive role and are rarely assertive or demanding of attention. They are typically tolerant and accepting of others."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwKf6TT-3eXFz_MhJ2fFNfrSgnebY6FbZhMnajYneINP72u35fm2PF4xmEh7glHSWD2-wuWthdO2VGYSirH4JVFCdcHOcqJ1toEPIALkv8mqpDQL3sxre4IOcR2AmPHpjOTlw9zhWomK1-/s400/New+Girl+12+%234.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwKf6TT-3eXFz_MhJ2fFNfrSgnebY6FbZhMnajYneINP72u35fm2PF4xmEh7glHSWD2-wuWthdO2VGYSirH4JVFCdcHOcqJ1toEPIALkv8mqpDQL3sxre4IOcR2AmPHpjOTlw9zhWomK1-/s400/New+Girl+12+%234.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>Elizabeth - INFP - Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving</b><br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7EyiRazeZR8/UjyswBbqcLI/AAAAAAAAAZM/HJFY47q5I24/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7EyiRazeZR8/UjyswBbqcLI/AAAAAAAAAZM/HJFY47q5I24/s400/image.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">INFPs value authenticity and want to be original and individual in what they do. They are often concerned with a search for meaning and truth within themselves. Following tradition holds little appeal for the INFP; they prefer to do their own exploration of values and ideas, and decide for themselves what seems right. INFPs are often offbeat and unconventional, but they feel no desire to conform. The INFP would rather be true to themselves than try to fit in with the crowd."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaUShzGo8Zz00c34h028Fv4Iugc1dUXpi84pdkd4ov30ygmVY7_9Es4-hQHee-JZInyEeDoS2SXRdmkFlH9HC78S5fB7LpS_d7r7wMn2pZTa4Hzm-TTxJ27rndqmmws8F5gv4PXY5GRdhD/s1600/schmidt+elizabeth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaUShzGo8Zz00c34h028Fv4Iugc1dUXpi84pdkd4ov30ygmVY7_9Es4-hQHee-JZInyEeDoS2SXRdmkFlH9HC78S5fB7LpS_d7r7wMn2pZTa4Hzm-TTxJ27rndqmmws8F5gv4PXY5GRdhD/s400/schmidt+elizabeth.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"They especially hate being steamrolled by people who insist there is one right way to do things. INFPs want an open, supportive exchange of ideas."</span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqU9DvbncGUaqLIC9_pc1dg2aWrsfbfmzhQ2-SoRJdqRcS_SGgtKhHWoaWXAyKleiQjBh-T11bzSliZ5se3XFUGCqQkVvDs-JzEmprAjdDab1cbWVmE8N0AMRRHNiEDbK4UEhvAHwxmD0g/s1600/schmidt+elizabeth+pizza.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqU9DvbncGUaqLIC9_pc1dg2aWrsfbfmzhQ2-SoRJdqRcS_SGgtKhHWoaWXAyKleiQjBh-T11bzSliZ5se3XFUGCqQkVvDs-JzEmprAjdDab1cbWVmE8N0AMRRHNiEDbK4UEhvAHwxmD0g/s400/schmidt+elizabeth+pizza.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>Cece - ESTP - Extroverted Sensing Thinking Perceiving</b><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O55Bu5BSDf4/UjyswDtL4NI/AAAAAAAAAY8/CBkLUIun-1U/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-O55Bu5BSDf4/UjyswDtL4NI/AAAAAAAAAY8/CBkLUIun-1U/s400/image.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"Active and playful, ESTPs are often the life of the party and have a good sense of humor. They use their keen powers of observation to assess their audience and adapt quickly to keep interactions exciting. Although they typically appear very social, they are rarely sensitive; the ESTP prefers to keep things fast-paced and silly rather than emotional or serious."</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUO6AD_8COTv7oLX1ovCpffmkdgeaHwzZOS_1s6cohnwj_wgg4C808OoqnP5p___KoZfF99iGppFOGWD2yS7HnlyjNFnUXRdwfZalabVq42OxaOmhBxOYGpYM-Jj6r6BmKX3i4G-Lg6Den/s1600/cece+parekh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUO6AD_8COTv7oLX1ovCpffmkdgeaHwzZOS_1s6cohnwj_wgg4C808OoqnP5p___KoZfF99iGppFOGWD2yS7HnlyjNFnUXRdwfZalabVq42OxaOmhBxOYGpYM-Jj6r6BmKX3i4G-Lg6Den/s400/cece+parekh.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px;">"ESTPs are unabashedly gregarious with people, but their interest in individuals may not last long; they are more likely to work a room, having a laugh with everyone, than they are to engage in depth with any one person."</span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22.390625px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br /></span></blockquote>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitvorFZqP17_O_lo81QXbBUifoNYMJWwSXTt49SW3bjeaGvMW9cVwOVSPypxh85sfaA9Y8lTfajCrjgynyR4vQLYxPTiCxV1GxL8aHqrFfBoFMlCotDad8GZBzY7n1arq74xlqPHHjfqZu/s1600/cece.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitvorFZqP17_O_lo81QXbBUifoNYMJWwSXTt49SW3bjeaGvMW9cVwOVSPypxh85sfaA9Y8lTfajCrjgynyR4vQLYxPTiCxV1GxL8aHqrFfBoFMlCotDad8GZBzY7n1arq74xlqPHHjfqZu/s400/cece.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<b><br /></b>
Quotes from <a href="http://www.truity.com/view/types" target="_blank">Truity</a><br />
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Images: screeninvasion.com; dacouchpotato.com; hellogiggles.com; tvrecappersanonymous.wordpress.com; rarely-pins.com; celebquote.com; golden-sunrays.blogspot.com; blog.zap2it.com; corinawrites.com; vulture.comAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-58615943922924253942013-09-13T21:15:00.000+01:002013-09-13T21:15:30.815+01:00Dawson's Creek reminds me of Harry PotterRecently, I've been going through a bit of a phase (shock horror). I was a bit young to watch Dawson's Creek when it first came out, being precisely six years old, but a few months ago my good friend Rosie (who designed Alma Grove's logo and wrote <a href="http://almagrove.blogspot.com/2013/02/why-i-cant-wait-to-graduate.html" target="_blank">this blog post</a>) introduced me to the joys of living in Capeside. Now I'm ever-so-slightly obsessed.<br />
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Here's another fun fact about me (and I totally understand if you want to stop reading after this sentence) (but at the same time I really don't): I absolutely LOVE listening to the Harry Potter audiobooks, read by Stephen Fry. I've always preferred listening to people talking than listening to music, and Stephen's superior tones often soothe my ruffled mind when I'm getting ready in the morning. The thing is, because I'm watching a lot of Dawson's Creek and listening a lot to Harry Potter, I can't help noticing that they're actually surprisingly similar...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikw_sjIhfzs4UZFru_mjW_XBV2Tc_kOrXz7Y9DeqPbemC7O6UJsP0kq25WSb5-RHmHOB7ld2GBm_DuWR74t6a0mmvgZdXQlBHuOTidjlA53HvIph_JSUHHKiTwgqBeiYDhPrLeZQyNauMz/s1600/dawson_and_harry_crying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikw_sjIhfzs4UZFru_mjW_XBV2Tc_kOrXz7Y9DeqPbemC7O6UJsP0kq25WSb5-RHmHOB7ld2GBm_DuWR74t6a0mmvgZdXQlBHuOTidjlA53HvIph_JSUHHKiTwgqBeiYDhPrLeZQyNauMz/s400/dawson_and_harry_crying.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a name='more'></a><b>Dawson = Harry</b><br />
Think about it. They're both male teenage protagonists around which their respective stories revolve around. Not only that, they're both REALLY moody. I'm not talking eleven-year-old sweet innocent Potter, I'm talking angry Order-of-the-Phoenix Potter. Yeah I know it was mainly because of that piece of Voldemort's soul stuck inside him, but still. They both come across as self-obsessed at times (well okay <i>all </i>the time in Dawson's case), as if every decision they make will affect world history. Of course, in Harry's case that was true, but never mind. Also, they're both really awkward when it comes to girls.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_EnjzExsjZNRrkot-Wq-S3Dwz7A5nPD_skyTp9knlf8mgCpBrrnZ-ScKNQRLo7Th5YNkTWW23nbT6o2wjLCA5pwxu2acCdgkQ33_fBBN_IJ53jqcSwXwWalRPDAX_8U0P5CkImd_sbQ7T/s1600/dawson_and_harry_smug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="253" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_EnjzExsjZNRrkot-Wq-S3Dwz7A5nPD_skyTp9knlf8mgCpBrrnZ-ScKNQRLo7Th5YNkTWW23nbT6o2wjLCA5pwxu2acCdgkQ33_fBBN_IJ53jqcSwXwWalRPDAX_8U0P5CkImd_sbQ7T/s400/dawson_and_harry_smug.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Here's a small excerpt from <i>The</i> <i>Order of the Phoenix</i>:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Harry was alternately filled with restless energy that made him unable to settle to anything, during which time he paced his bedroom, furious at the whole lot of them for leaving him to stew in this mess; and with a </span><span style="background-color: white;">lethargy</span><span style="background-color: white;"> </span><span style="background-color: white;">so complete that he could lie on his bed for an hour at a time, staring dazedly into space, aching with dread at the thought of the Ministry hearing.</span></span></blockquote>
Who does that remind you of? Oh yes, good ol' Dawson Leery.<br />
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<b>Pacey = Ron</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oq8nUZXE9D5mvsU_A-cLTg8BGIfXpX3Acus0T3JQxoN35eyb04ISN8MJcZDZBfTE2obzNZin5WhPZriAniA91lqTRhc5M2-uVHfWV16z2AP_F-sN8JdErI6k4UHkSsdIA9uRF4oYDB0S/s1600/pacey_and_ron.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-oq8nUZXE9D5mvsU_A-cLTg8BGIfXpX3Acus0T3JQxoN35eyb04ISN8MJcZDZBfTE2obzNZin5WhPZriAniA91lqTRhc5M2-uVHfWV16z2AP_F-sN8JdErI6k4UHkSsdIA9uRF4oYDB0S/s400/pacey_and_ron.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Classic comedy clowns, Pacey and Ron offset the dark gloom surrounding their best buddies. Outwardly upbeat and inwardly insecure, Pacey and Ron never fail to provide humour. And of course, they have the best banter with...<br />
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<b>Joey = Hermione</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0xoAL4SVzShyphenhyphenmtwLE70topOQ-x4eUIjlAYMubvdlQOpJXeUk1kPX9ciPOjb9Pj35r6BqSGoHZjbkHuW0KqPtix8PIcSUvaT1Q5cx01gJ2R08yNptV7qO2j-cqt4TMJB3-p_jSw0MAEvNK/s1600/joey_and_hermione_eye_roll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="126" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0xoAL4SVzShyphenhyphenmtwLE70topOQ-x4eUIjlAYMubvdlQOpJXeUk1kPX9ciPOjb9Pj35r6BqSGoHZjbkHuW0KqPtix8PIcSUvaT1Q5cx01gJ2R08yNptV7qO2j-cqt4TMJB3-p_jSw0MAEvNK/s400/joey_and_hermione_eye_roll.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Academically-driven, Joey and Hermione are chronic worriers and overthinkers. They want the best for their good friend Dawson/Harry, but can't help falling for the charms of the guy they can't stop fighting with - Pacey/Ron. Of course, Harry takes the news of the relationship far better than Dawson. But then, Harry is a decent human being.</div>
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<b>Joey Potter = Harry Potter</b></div>
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It's just quite hard to hear the sound 'eepotter' without thinking of Harry Potter. </div>
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<i>"I'm the original Potter."</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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Despite all these similarities, I think we can all agree that although Harry and Dawson were both pretty angsty, we can forgive Harry (cos Voldemort killed his parents and stuff), but Dawson had no excuse. Team Pacey all the way.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHj3dgD-_x92teyepZCrVRfip3ay-oEnt5smgEqf1Q-oWDHQvOyeors499U9dl5ea6eRpKOrOkNSVXuS9j5JPfEprCOT1ijPtdGsTe_q_3GcJPfzDigNy8AEpnFvlrooOnCfcp3Jvj_1Y8/s1600/pacey_witter_true_love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHj3dgD-_x92teyepZCrVRfip3ay-oEnt5smgEqf1Q-oWDHQvOyeors499U9dl5ea6eRpKOrOkNSVXuS9j5JPfEprCOT1ijPtdGsTe_q_3GcJPfzDigNy8AEpnFvlrooOnCfcp3Jvj_1Y8/s400/pacey_witter_true_love.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Aww.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-56680398501555871912013-09-06T19:25:00.002+01:002013-09-06T19:25:38.519+01:00Wedding cringe-fest, courtesy of PinterestAs I have <a href="http://almagrove.blogspot.com/2013/08/and-most-of-all-id-like-to-thank.html" target="_blank">mentioned previously</a>, I spend a fair amount of my time at the moment trawling through wedding ideas on Pinterest, hoping to find cool stuff. Mostly it's the standard, rustic, boho weddings held in a barn that dominate the Weddings section, but every so often I spot a pin that registers highly on the queasy scale. Here's a brief glimpse of the kind of ideas that typify this genre (sick bags at the ready!):<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WctRV8cRx9A/UioZSGNj8qI/AAAAAAAAAUU/8J23v5B3vZE/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WctRV8cRx9A/UioZSGNj8qI/AAAAAAAAAUU/8J23v5B3vZE/s400/image.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fk_lFONC0qk/UioZEfy2idI/AAAAAAAAAUE/3f3bdQbPjOY/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />Images: Pinterest</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-51474556475016180982013-08-30T11:34:00.001+01:002013-08-30T11:53:56.166+01:007 ways in which I would improve Elysium [SPOILERS]The other night, Alex and I went to see the newly-released Elysium. I thought it was ok, but I feel that I could have made it better:<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NxpXZJGZ3KU/UiBz6TbEasI/AAAAAAAAATI/lT50ja-fVCk/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NxpXZJGZ3KU/UiBz6TbEasI/AAAAAAAAATI/lT50ja-fVCk/s400/image.jpg" width="268" /></a></div>
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1) Have Matt Damon topless for most of the film<br />
How did they manage to put his t-shirt back on after the robotic arms had been fused to the nerves in his chest? They surely wouldn't have left his t-shirt on while they were drilling into him, so how did they do it? Did they have a seamstress on the team who just sewed it back onto him? And I'm guessing he never took it off to wash, which is fine cos you know, five days to live and everything, I mean you wouldn't bother would you, but still, it seems like a bit of a faff to have to cut him out of it. In fact, if he did end up surviving, would he ever be able to wash? I mean, was the equipment waterproof? That would be pretty awful if he managed to survive everything and then got electrocuted whilst taking a well-earned shower.<br />
This was what was going through my head for about 40% of the movie. The t-shirt paradox was just SO distracting. If he has to wear clothing, logic dictates it should be OVER the equipment. But since it was the equipment that made Matt Damon look all badass, it doesn't make sense to cover it up, so I guess the only solution is for him to not wear a t-shirt at all. What a pity.<br />
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2) Have a romantic plot line.<br />
I loved Matt Damon and that woman together, it would have been so cute if something had happened! I know, I know, he was a bit dodge and she was a bit wary of him, but still, they could have resolved it before his death! Come on Hollywood, you've been peddling the same old love story for decades; if you show me flashbacks of a boy and a girl who are best friends forever, I'm going to assume that they fall in love at the end of the film. Now, maybe that did happen, but we weren't really given time to process it because Matt Damon went and died. Nice one mate.<br />
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3) Explain more about Elysium.<br />
When did it come about? How did they build it? Why is it a wheel shape? How come they don't have clouds? Why do only white people live there? And yet the president is Asian? Can you see Elysium from all parts of Earth or does it just hover in orbit over LA? How big is it? It seems tiny! How many people live there? From what I saw, it looked like 500,000 at the absolute most. Why can't the people on Earth seem to cope without these 500,000 rich white people? Has there been some kind of disaster? I just really want to know more. Don't just throw these satellite cities at me without explaining yourself.<br />
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4) Have less close-ups of Matt Damon's operation.<br />
And any similar close-ups. In fact, I'd just leave them out altogether. If you just show a surgeon holding a knife, I think everyone understands the horror of the situation. I have an imagination, I don't need it to come to life thank you very much.<br />
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5) Charge less at the cinema.<br />
It was Orange Wednesday and it still cost nine quid for two of us. Sort it out.<br />
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6) Not have a cop-out ending.<br />
Oh yay, so everyone on Earth is now a citizen of Elysium, hooray! That was a nice bit of coding mister, changing 'illegal' to 'legal'. But wait, now what? Does everyone now go up there and get healing? Because really, they need those machines on Earth. And if they bring them to Earth, then what? Is all disease eradicated from Earth? And will that guy stay president? Because I feel he wouldn't make that great a president, no offence. Ok, so Matt Damon's part in the film was over, but that didn't mean the film had to be over. The fact that it was over meant that the writers didn't have to think about the consequences of their ending. Well, bully for them.<br />
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7) Not market it like a cool dystopian film that I would like.<br />
I love a good dystopian story, but this wasn't one at all, and the adverts really made it seem like it would be one. It was just action and sci-fi, aka BORING, with a small dystopian twist.<br />
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So yeah, I mean I don't think it was a terrible film, but I just think it wasn't as good as it could have been, given the concept. I suppose my message to the filmmakers is "Try harder next time".<br />
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Images: SFX, <a href="http://bdmoviemasala.blogspot.com/2013/06/elysium-wallpapers.html" target="_blank">Movie Masala</a>, <a href="http://horrorhomework.com/blog/2013/08/movie-review-elysium/" target="_blank">Horror Homework</a><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-60279326857249109262013-08-09T14:10:00.001+01:002013-10-11T23:09:15.493+01:00A brief history of English spelling; or, 5 reasons why we should just chillCall me ridiculous, but when I visit a company's website, I'm a lot less inclined to trust them if I spot a spelling mistake on their page. On Twitter or Facebook or in texts I really couldn't care less because I put it down to an honest mistake, and I get that for a lot of people spelling isn't a strong point, but when I see it in a corporate context it just makes me rage inside. Yesterday I visited the site of a catering company who insisted on spelling the word barbecue, 'barbeQue'. In my head I kept reading it as 'barbeck', which sounds like some kind of medieval dance.<br />
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But why does it annoy me so much? When I think about it, it's completely irrational. I mean, I know exactly what they <i>meant </i>to say, it's not a barrier to my understanding of the sentence. Where on earth did this concept of 'good spelling' and 'bad spelling' come from? After a bit of research, here's what I found:<br />
<a name='more'></a><b>English only became the official language of England in 1430.</b> This was about when the Hundred Years War ended with France. Before this, French was the official language of the court, and so when the language switchover took place, many monks and scribes had trouble with spelling. You can blame them for the illogical 'o' in 'people' - it was their attempt at anglicising the French <i>peuple</i>.<br />
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<b>The printers at the first English printing press were Belgian. </b>When William Caxton set up the first English printing press in 1476, he brought printers from Belgium to help him with his endeavour. Unfortunately, these printers didn't speak any English, and so they often made spelling mistakes - that's why we spell 'busy' with a 'u', and not an 'i'. Additionally, these printers were paid by the line, so they sometimes added a few extra letters - frIend, heAd, seAson.<br />
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<b>In the sixteenth century, the spellings in the first English Bible became corrupted.</b> The translation of the Bible from Latin had been banned by the Pope, but when Martin Luther questioned his infallibility, everyone wanted to read the Bible for themselves, to check what was really in there. William Tyndale translated the first English Bible, but he had to go abroad because government spies were out to catch him, so his printers often didn't speak English. When Tyndale was captured and burnt at the stake in 1536, rogue copies of the Bible were still being made, with many spellings changed to disguise the authorship. Since many people learnt to read using the Bible, spelling in the sixteenth century went a bit crazy.<br />
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<b>Teacher Edmund Coote attempted to standardise spelling using the most popular spellings of each word.</b> In 1595, Coote published <i>The English Schoolemaister</i>, which was a spelling list. He cut out some of the unnecessary letters that had been added over the years ('hadde' became 'had'), but in general he stuck to popular consensus - so we still have the 'u' in 'build'.<br />
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<b>Sixteenth-century scholars changed words to reflect their supposed origin.</b> Greek and Latin scholars changed words to make their links with the classical languages more obvious. Therefore the word 'dout' became 'doubt', to link it with the Latin <i>dubitare</i>. Sometimes the scholars got it wrong; they changed 'iland' to 'island', thinking it came from the Latin <i>insulare</i>.<br />
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So basically, it turns out the English used to be nice and simple and phonetic, but a load of people added unnecessary letters, making it the confusing mess it is today.<br />
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That's why it's probably time to chill about spelling - our whole language is just one big series of spelling mistakes anyway.<br />
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Images: <a href="http://mjtr.de/capriol/edance.html" target="_blank">Early dance</a>, <a href="http://www.linguistrix.com/blog/?p=651" target="_blank">Linguistrix</a>, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/23/cute-kid-note-of-the-day-call-me-maybe_n_3327999.html" target="_blank">Huffington Post</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-26519572797553269132013-08-01T16:21:00.001+01:002013-08-01T16:21:41.863+01:00"And most of all, I'd like to thank Pinterest..." - the dilemma of wedding inspirationSo, something exciting happened to me while I was on holiday...<br />
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<a name='more'></a>ALEX PROPOSED!!!!!!!<br />
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It was very romantic, he got down on one knee in the Romanian countryside and whipped out a ring, taking me quite by surprise. I cried for like an hour afterwards, and floated on a cloud made of candy-floss dreams for the rest of our holiday.<br />
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When we got home, we had to snap back to reality (there goes gravity) and think about actually planning a wedding. Now, at the moment a lot of this falls to me as Alex has a very full-time job and I am unemployed (unless one of you dear readers would care to employ me), and so naturally I have turned to Pinterest.<br />
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I've always had quite a lot of ideas about our wedding with regards to colour schemes and dresses etc., but my secret wedding board on Pinterest is absolute insanity. I probably pin things to it a couple of times an hour or something ridiculous, pinning anything from 'cute ideas for vintage carnival wedding favours' to 'awesome boho country hairstyles for bridesmaids'. I've actually got my bridesmaids involved as well, some of them being keen pinners like myself.<br />
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The thing is, in the back of my head I keep feeling like I'm stealing other people's ideas. If I wasn't the sort of person that really enjoys dreaming up creative solutions then I wouldn't see it in the same way; I guess I'd see it more as a helpful scrapbook of cool ideas. But I like to think of myself as a fairly imaginative person, and sometimes I think that my current obsession with Pinterest is making me creatively lazy.<br />
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That's not to say that I don't like Pinterest - I absolutely love it. However, I think it's very tempting to use it as a to-do list rather than to inspire my own ideas. When you go on the Weddings section of Pinterest it's plain to see that there are some incredibly talented artistic minds out there, and I often find myself thinking "Oh, that is the <i>perfect</i> way to hang fairy lights in a barn" or "I literally can't even <i>think</i> of a better way to create a vintage centrepiece". It sometimes makes me feel like I couldn't come up with anything that cool.<br />
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But it's a lie. I've realised that for me and Alex, the coolest thing we can do is have our own ideas, inspired by the stuff that we like.<br />
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That's what all the people on Pinterest seem to do anyway.<br />
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<span style="-webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875);">(By the by, this blog isn't going to turn into a wedding blog now, despite appearances - I promise I'll restrain myself!)</span><br />
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Images: <a href="http://al.does.it/" target="_blank">Alex's blog</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-25363105833014669492013-07-13T14:54:00.001+01:002013-07-13T17:49:34.974+01:00SozHello there. You might have noticed that it's been a bit quiet on the blog recently, for which I apologise. Since my <a href="http://almagrove.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/6-ways-to-make-goodbyes-less-awkward.html">last post</a>, I've moved out of my house in York, gone to Venice with my old housemates and GRADUATED. <br />
<a name='more'></a>Yeah, that's right. Earlier this year I had quite a few <a href="http://almagrove.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/countdown-to-graduation-day.html">worries about graduation</a>, so I'll let you know how it went in my next blog post, which will hopefully be at the end of the month. Basically guys, it's summer, so you can have a break for now and get your fill of Vitamin D. Laters.<br />
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Image: ASOS</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-81524822292684584482013-06-21T11:04:00.001+01:002013-06-21T12:57:12.863+01:006 ways to make goodbyes less awkwardI've just about wrapped up my time at uni, and amidst packing and trying to remove mug rings from furniture before the landlord sees them, I've had to start saying goodbye to people. It's a situation that makes me feel a bit awkward, a) because it's a social occasion and b) because it's not like I'll see some of these people around - it kind of feels very final. But luckily, I've devised 6 different plans of action to deflate the awkwardness. They're basically foolproof.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFZc6XCJ-FlqwiG1u2b6RRI5p-6djI9BAfD-UcNj8JAbiNuSO1JAQQuGIwehK39Juyta64mBU_snkh5p92Sedgx45Q9EDOogxb8I_HDNcNg4OPLKqAkVsk7lQ30wHJyyzXbS-BYZBIM9uJ/s1600/goodbye+jack+titanic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFZc6XCJ-FlqwiG1u2b6RRI5p-6djI9BAfD-UcNj8JAbiNuSO1JAQQuGIwehK39Juyta64mBU_snkh5p92Sedgx45Q9EDOogxb8I_HDNcNg4OPLKqAkVsk7lQ30wHJyyzXbS-BYZBIM9uJ/s400/goodbye+jack+titanic.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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1) <b>Keep repeating the fact that it's "so sad".</b></div>
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This is just in case the other person has forgotten, or isn't sure what the tone of this goodbye is going to be. Sometimes people leap into goodbyes with happiness or anger, and so this is a great way of setting them straight. If you keep repeating it in a mournful, high-pitched voice, you're sure to dispel any confusion (which is always so awkward, I find). Another good thing about this strategy is that if you can't think of anything else to say, it's a really great phrase to fall back on, again and again. It's the gift that keeps on giving.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU1fe9ENMfAKdrVU5c9G5p5eAJPl2IpiX6J_D_efW25CMMNLiUOJ36Udvnq6NHw2VMd393OpqJSkvRdlzA_gND7twdANKlGBSUx0cUPYMU_a5u7hAABnFOKoE2ZSrvExdzrmAdhbjjaD88/s1600/sad+puppy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="286" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU1fe9ENMfAKdrVU5c9G5p5eAJPl2IpiX6J_D_efW25CMMNLiUOJ36Udvnq6NHw2VMd393OpqJSkvRdlzA_gND7twdANKlGBSUx0cUPYMU_a5u7hAABnFOKoE2ZSrvExdzrmAdhbjjaD88/s400/sad+puppy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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2) <b>Cry.</b></div>
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If you really want to go the extra mile, nothing works better than a good weep. The less well you know someone, the better this is. It's good because you don't actually have to talk, thus removing the awkwardness of not knowing what to say. The most dramatic crying is the most effective: if possible, try and collapse on the floor and wrap your arms around the other person's left ankle. Be sure to carry an onion with you at all times if you know that you have difficulty with crying on demand.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2D5QCZtR0Pe3DUFl6wlL8axi2JtZOLpJlfPHCioMVHeL-ErOFD4pQE_fMkhlXIEOwdTZsiO4YKZI8DDbdGKpxL7OH3voKXrpNBOc0ijPfREXcp0ysayTE3qr05OyqwwB5tC0Ff0zeSzhy/s1600/dawson+crying.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2D5QCZtR0Pe3DUFl6wlL8axi2JtZOLpJlfPHCioMVHeL-ErOFD4pQE_fMkhlXIEOwdTZsiO4YKZI8DDbdGKpxL7OH3voKXrpNBOc0ijPfREXcp0ysayTE3qr05OyqwwB5tC0Ff0zeSzhy/s400/dawson+crying.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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3) <b>Don't make eye contact.</b></div>
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Eyes are the windows to the soul, and the other person needs to know that these windows are now shut, closed for business. Don't make the mistake of saying this out loud, though; I can tell you that this makes things super awkward. Instead, clarify the situation to the other person by looking slightly above, below, or anywhere except the irises. Be wary of using this strategy when saying goodbye to people with very beautiful eyes, because you may well get drawn in by their hypnotic powers and end up having to postpone the farewell. Pray that you never have to say goodbye to Alexis Bledel.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw5hGKgW8rBnSWX7sT18ry28XEZyIBRXkgvwiSlEzn8kxRysBaHH4cLjixN-HvZBD5ccHbp84EDb5DPkhHrAMyaEVlljx6BmsN3RbR4F-QTcpIcNgqB9eKUXGRN50lejhPwpXnz8Y43vbU/s1600/alexis+bledel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw5hGKgW8rBnSWX7sT18ry28XEZyIBRXkgvwiSlEzn8kxRysBaHH4cLjixN-HvZBD5ccHbp84EDb5DPkhHrAMyaEVlljx6BmsN3RbR4F-QTcpIcNgqB9eKUXGRN50lejhPwpXnz8Y43vbU/s400/alexis+bledel.jpg" width="300" /></a></div>
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4) <b>Do a little dance to ascertain whether a hug is appropriate.</b></div>
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It feels natural to hug some people, but with others it's a bit weird. If you're not sure how to tell the difference, here's a little trick. Stand opposite the person and try to work out where they're looking. If they're looking at your arms, then it's probably safe to hug. If not, raise your arms very slightly. If they smile at this action, you can hug. If not, bob a bit to the left and right. If they copy you, then they're expecting a hug. WARNING: if none of these actions elicit a favourable response DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT hug. If they don't see it coming, you might both bob the same way and end up kissing.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTu0Ho4azz4e1DV6yAPtlyaFbgHQPIDOf5XuyFVytwlJ5rpkW35ycAQNNv6FO9dkSP6MV0X00usz-UKvVRcikH_OKaVH9wUnFt9KLo54MUxXP1kHwDsV1dcVg4l61R_HTrdQJ9Drik54K/s1600/need+a+hug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTu0Ho4azz4e1DV6yAPtlyaFbgHQPIDOf5XuyFVytwlJ5rpkW35ycAQNNv6FO9dkSP6MV0X00usz-UKvVRcikH_OKaVH9wUnFt9KLo54MUxXP1kHwDsV1dcVg4l61R_HTrdQJ9Drik54K/s320/need+a+hug.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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5) <b>End the conversation with, "Well, see you never, I guess."</b></div>
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This is to ensure that lying does not occur, which can be very awkward. You'll probably never see them again, so you can't say, "See you later" or "See you around" because this is clearly impossible. By adding "I guess" to the end of the sentence, you imply that you don't know that you'll never see them again, it's just an educated assumption that you've made. This means that the other person definitely won't be offended.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4R0EFTDSjwIGcX-1jh88uSXzVCl2hKar0v6hhE8Vd85i3POfRFs1DZbcQerLL7rwxSIzHiAH8ZKj-gG1KL2wep13ioX5ZYd76KmiXIPccMzi8TE9iFqeiXvJZ6svD-pJWDiPsBZOKK6Ah/s1600/game+of+thrones+we+are+never+ever+ever+getting+back+together.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4R0EFTDSjwIGcX-1jh88uSXzVCl2hKar0v6hhE8Vd85i3POfRFs1DZbcQerLL7rwxSIzHiAH8ZKj-gG1KL2wep13ioX5ZYd76KmiXIPccMzi8TE9iFqeiXvJZ6svD-pJWDiPsBZOKK6Ah/s400/game+of+thrones+we+are+never+ever+ever+getting+back+together.jpg" width="383" /></a></div>
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6) <b>Avoid it altogether.</b></div>
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Don't bother with the awkwardness! Just leave the room without a word. If someone tries to call you back, make a run for it. Use Bilbo Baggins as your model and always have an invisibility device at hand.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWVKgzisaBwBgMDtXOzcDUd-msl05rqHldg527dKbINMDL5jp3Vdpqw9f76gZ7Wg0Tlgef-i1cWjh0JlaGlytjDAyFd3UfZt-LcKwcCo3ejGb5YyOGTc5yEt80Uf_diPuV5X9CWVYKkF8U/s1600/bilbo+party.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWVKgzisaBwBgMDtXOzcDUd-msl05rqHldg527dKbINMDL5jp3Vdpqw9f76gZ7Wg0Tlgef-i1cWjh0JlaGlytjDAyFd3UfZt-LcKwcCo3ejGb5YyOGTc5yEt80Uf_diPuV5X9CWVYKkF8U/s400/bilbo+party.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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(Sad fact: within this past week I have done all of these things except crying)</div>
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Images: <a href="http://jopinionated.blogspot.co.uk/2010/05/lost-episode-614-candidate-initial.html">JOpinionated</a>, <a href="http://ashscrapyard.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/7-days-challenge-goes-in-drain-lmfao/">Aisha's Scrapyard</a>, <a href="http://wowcelebs.info/alexis-bledel-hq-pictures/alexis-bledel-13578">Wow Celebs</a>, <a href="http://www.blogskins.com/screenshot/144173">Blog Skins</a>, <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/carolinever/we-are-never-ever-getting-back-together-an-open-l-am1e">Buzz Feed</a>, <a href="http://aquidam.wordpress.com/tag/bilbo-baggins/">aquidam</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-88589722747133781842013-06-14T11:48:00.001+01:002013-06-14T12:16:35.135+01:00"There's a hole in my soul" - the World's biggest conspiracy theoryWho's up for a game? I'm going to throw some song lyrics at you, and your challenge is to spot the theme. Ready? Let's go.<br />
<ul>
<li>Hey, show some love / You ain't so tough / Come fill my little world right up / Right up - <i>Fill My Little World</i>, The Feeling</li>
<li>There's a hole in my soul / I can't fill it, I can't fill it / There's a hole in my soul / Can you fill it, can you fill it? - <i>Flaws</i>, Bastille</li>
<li>Well that is it, guys, that is all, five minutes in and I'm bored again - <i>Some Nights</i>, Fun.</li>
<li>I am lost, I am vain / I will never be the same / Without you - <i>Without You</i>, David Guetta</li>
<li>The scars of your love remind me of us / They keep me thinking that we almost had it all - <i>Rolling in the Deep</i>, Adele</li>
<li>I know that I've got issues / But you're pretty messed up too / Either way I found out I'm nothing without you - <i>My Life Would Suck Without You</i>, Kelly Clarkson</li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwr3fkJ2T801EQ9CMRG0jHwFz8n4RDl2S5_YqzY_8LGohGdA-9sRhMR_fATYAc1gi-K4dGv9CfBtQBOXxqo2JIrCLJNEkD86rluwzjd4yzqUJt_DgjSbVBG6wwVgyj-RgSCWb0QEIWzlCA/s1600/you+complete+me+doughnuts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="272" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwr3fkJ2T801EQ9CMRG0jHwFz8n4RDl2S5_YqzY_8LGohGdA-9sRhMR_fATYAc1gi-K4dGv9CfBtQBOXxqo2JIrCLJNEkD86rluwzjd4yzqUJt_DgjSbVBG6wwVgyj-RgSCWb0QEIWzlCA/s400/you+complete+me+doughnuts.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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What's the verdict? You might have noticed a couple of strands emerging - dissatisfaction with life, and the idea that finding somebody to love will complete you. </div>
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I want you to venture through the looking-glass with me and imagine you're Sir Algernon Buskthwaite, an eccentric Victorian amateur scientist who conducts experiments in time travel. The year is 1894, and you can feel the thrill of anticipation building in your fingertips. The formula, sitting atop a Bunsen flame, is close to completion. Once it begins to bubble, time travel will be achievable, according to your hypothesis. You restlessly pace the room, finally settling on the rosewood dining chair, the legs of which are adorned with coils of copper wiring. By your left foot, two unattached wire ends are visible. You fix the beaker of hallowed liquid with a determined stare, as if you can cause the solution to boil with the power of concentration. Eventually, a large bubble becomes apparent. And another. Another. A profusion of bubbles. It is ready.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsQoRag_k-U2I9pVg561gOMlISsMnwGX3cnmBb9FnW0KMRX2-U7DLvA8TJw4WdVNM1juEp99QVkfnf8PWdHzSFI8bxM7mrl19i-Fq6b5vdOjpC2JtMGSe9-zaysqlcb73b2ffsx8ZpuMPk/s1600/monocle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsQoRag_k-U2I9pVg561gOMlISsMnwGX3cnmBb9FnW0KMRX2-U7DLvA8TJw4WdVNM1juEp99QVkfnf8PWdHzSFI8bxM7mrl19i-Fq6b5vdOjpC2JtMGSe9-zaysqlcb73b2ffsx8ZpuMPk/s400/monocle.jpg" width="326" /></a></div>
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Trembling, you inspect the purplish liquid with your polished monocle. Perfect. You place the beaker by the left leg of the chair. Sitting down upon the cushioned seat, you dangle the wires into the solution. The room spins violently for a few seconds and judders to a halt, but this is certainly not the dining room at Blottley Hall that you are familiar with. Before you begin to mentally acknowledge the visual differences in the room, a musical excerpt wafts across the room. The singer laments:</div>
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"There's a hole in my soul,</div>
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I can't fill it, I can't fill it,</div>
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There's a hole in my soul,</div>
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Can you fill it, can you fill it?"</div>
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This is your first encounter with the twenty-first century. <i>Damned odd thing to sing about</i>, you muse. </div>
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It's true, it is kind of an odd thing to sing about, the desire to make another person fit into your incomplete jigsaw soul. And yet, this kind of sentiment is liberally splashed over nearly everything in popular culture today: songs, movies, TV shows. Once you start noticing it, you can't stop. Society is crying out for completeness, and there's a World conspiracy going on that would have the masses believe that there is a way to feel whole again: fall in love.</div>
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But here's the thing - no matter how much you love your partner, or have the 'perfect' life that the magazines tell you to dream of, you will never, ever be satisfied. Think about it. Imagine it. Imagine you have everything you ever wanted. Do you really think that you'll just stop wanting things now? </div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">C. S. Lewis once said:</span></div>
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<span style="text-align: center;">"If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."</span></blockquote>
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Think about it.</div>
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Images: <a href="http://kimandjason.com/blog/">Kim and Jason</a>, <a href="http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Monocle">Uncyclopedia</a></div>
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-83818410097500500792013-06-07T16:50:00.000+01:002013-06-08T00:06:28.929+01:00Why the British can't handle their cheeseI don't know many people who wouldn't agree that a slice of lightly-toasted white bread is improved enormously by an oozing layer of melted mature Cheddar. And yet, when it comes to cheese in its abstract form, most prevalent in American TV drama series, we wince and cringe. Why is it that we, as a nation, cannot produce or watch cheesiness without grimacing?<br />
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My investigation begins with a definition of the term 'cheesy'. I would describe a cheesy moment as one that is needlessly sentimental and completely unrealistic, which is blatantly motivated by a need to manipulate the whole audience's emotions, with the subtlety of Taylor Swift. Here is a classic cheesy moment demonstrated by Cameron Diaz in <i>The Holiday</i>:<br />
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Oh look, the thought of separation from Jude Law has caused her to cry for the first time since her parents' divorce. She must go back and show him. Off she goes, running across snow and ice in stilettos. Cameron Diaz is, of course, invincible - she is not fazed by the pain of sprinting in heels or fear of slipping and damaging her award-winning face. No, true love beckons, and that is the only explanation we are given for this frankly death-defying feat. Bravo, Ms. Diaz.</div>
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This kind of scene always causes me to don my sarcastic goggles without any prior thought, like an automatic trigger. Here is a particularly excruciating clip from a British film, featuring Hugh Grant and Nicholas Hoult:</div>
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Note the persistent jeers and laughter of the students, drawing attention to how awful and cringeworthy this scene is, echoing and amplifying our own knee-jerk responses. The cheesiness is addressed and acknowledged; we are comforted by the fact that the film-makers feel just as we feel.</div>
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Of course, the American film industry is far larger than that of the U.K., meaning that they can afford to chuck in the same old clichés and be sure of making a killing (me softly) at the box office. However, I think there is a genre of film/television where we allow cheese and melodrama and everything else we would ordinarily cringe at - period dramas. I mean, look at this clip from <i>Persuasion</i>:</div>
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The premise of it pretty much the same as that clip from <i>The Holiday</i>, but the feelings evoked are totally different. I no longer have my sarcastic goggles on. I am totally enraptured by the drama. Of course, the fact that the story was written by Jane Austen immediately improves any drama. Still, imagine this in a present-day capacity - cheesiness beyond compare.</div>
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So perhaps, like so many other things that we find distasteful, we can only stomach our cheese wrapped in the respectable cloak of the period drama. But this must mean that we actually love cheese, but we're too repressed and embarrassed as a society to admit it. What do you reckon?</div>
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P.S. Here is an example of British cheesiness gone terribly wrong (not for the faint-hearted):</div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-43232813194211129972013-05-31T18:37:00.000+01:002013-08-09T23:15:02.704+01:004 myths about doing an Art History degree: true or false?Yesterday I handed in my final piece of assessed work to the department office, thus ending my travails in the academic world. I'd been desperately yearning for that day to come all month. What motivated me through dissertation pain and revision strife was the feeling that I assumed I would experience on May 30th, my final deadline: triumph, over the vanquishing of the three-headed monster that was my degree.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyLlPQuMc6CtCPyu3I0vPeA_CPiT4eFfnIke6s1yTVOguWj8WgK7DF6PNmRitJIycOMdkm8xttu8cnDB02n3sq8TeOU28fYiMhqURNLSdLRnjTI0F6livPTNN7FHszfTOqOfnGgf9o8wQK/s1600/DSC_0393.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyLlPQuMc6CtCPyu3I0vPeA_CPiT4eFfnIke6s1yTVOguWj8WgK7DF6PNmRitJIycOMdkm8xttu8cnDB02n3sq8TeOU28fYiMhqURNLSdLRnjTI0F6livPTNN7FHszfTOqOfnGgf9o8wQK/s400/DSC_0393.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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But that feeling was a dream, nothing more. It turns out that no matter how much you celebrate, finishing your degree is actually a little bit of an anti-climax, until you know your results. In the meantime, you have to find distractions to stop yourself freaking out about results, jobs, the future, money, aaaaargh stop stop make it stop!!!!!</div>
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So here's my distraction for today. I thought I'd help clear up some rumours about the Art History degree that people used to spout at me when I first told them I was doing it.</div>
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<b>Myth 1: </b><i>Art History is for just posh people, like Kate Middleton and Prince William. </i></div>
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FALSE, although there's no smoke without fire. I think that because most private schools teach Art History, for privately-educated pupils it's just like choosing any other subject, like Geography. It's not commonly taught at comprehensives, and so it's not as popular a choice at state schools. However, I chose Art History because I liked Art and History, and I don't feel that never having studied at school really hindered me, although it seemed very overwhelming at first. Do be aware that if you spend too much time with posh people, you might end up catching their accent and start sounding like someone from Made In Chelsea; that is <i>sew ambarrahseng </i>when you go back home.</div>
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<b>Myth 2: </b><i>You'll never get a job with an Art History degree</i>.</div>
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KIND OF FALSE - you'll get a job, just probably not a very well-paid one, unless you have contacts.This isn't exclusive to the Art History degree, though; all arts students are finding it difficult, with the job market at the moment. What I hope employers do appreciate is that an Art History degree requires practise in more disciplines than, say, a straight History degree: for example, we have to handle visual and written sources with equal skill, rather than simply focusing on the written. </div>
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<b>Myth 3: </b><i>Art History students barely have any timetabled hours.</i></div>
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TRUE - this year I have had 4 timetabled hours a week for two terms, and nothing timetabled for the last term. It's so not worth the tuition fees, which probably go straight to the Chemistry department. I really feel like this is unfair - students should get what they pay for. Surely science students can afford to pay more for their degrees anyway, since they'll earn way more than arts students? Also, you might think it's great having so much free time, but it's not really - there's always a cloud of guilt over your head every time you're not doing work or something to bolster your CV.</div>
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<b>Myth 4: </b><i>Art History, that's so pretentious. It has no relevance to the real world.</i></div>
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FALSE - any study of history has relevance to the real world because history repeats itself, you idiot. And don't you dare call me pretentious! You're so pretentious for using the word 'pretentious'!</div>
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TRUE - if you don't keep a firm grasp in reality, you end up having really stupid conversations about art theory and artists and the art world, which probably don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. Sometimes you'll feel like what you read and write about isn't at all relevant, but when you do read about stuff that is similar to what's going on today, it's a really good feeling.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQcmBTyO2bjQvyphsg7fKQSJqh7OC9RjOPTkpig48HPoOIyOqlRo7WHNAEyn7IH3LWZJngnEitqy4QX-65fCmaScipCmpFvUulEXQGYkl71xaAwAuDIETt6ckUahUusC8GoMc0xq_UK0c8/s1600/beyonce+art+history.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQcmBTyO2bjQvyphsg7fKQSJqh7OC9RjOPTkpig48HPoOIyOqlRo7WHNAEyn7IH3LWZJngnEitqy4QX-65fCmaScipCmpFvUulEXQGYkl71xaAwAuDIETt6ckUahUusC8GoMc0xq_UK0c8/s400/beyonce+art+history.jpg" width="245" /></a></div>
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If any of you have heard any more rumours about Art History, please share them below, I'd love to hear them!</div>
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Image: <a href="http://beyoncearthistory.tumblr.com/">Beyonce Art History</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-23473231892457873782013-05-24T13:44:00.000+01:002013-05-24T17:04:08.134+01:00The social network: a word of warningFor those of you that don't know, when I graduate in July I will (hopefully) have a degree in History of Art.* To be completely honest, I prefer the 'history' bit; I love the thrill of piecing together evidence to form an understanding of the past, however meagre it may be.<br />
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I also find myself thinking a lot about how the future will judge our generation, the millennials. What evidence will they use to build a picture of us in their historical consciousness? What accessible resource do many of us pour fragments of ourselves into, like sand into an empty bucket? Yep. The good ol' social network.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifXbI1Qu9ATovwVqd7iprwgHrBw4rufmil-1bZRhVVWcrMWUNAK_rwsXmXsPLDOVjothTFzE7mQ_UP64RXEBkHRgW19bFt9MFB9V1GrAI-Gl3mQfdSDBE4z71mRV8W9Gn2Ba6VxBLKa-QU/s1600/social+media+explained.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifXbI1Qu9ATovwVqd7iprwgHrBw4rufmil-1bZRhVVWcrMWUNAK_rwsXmXsPLDOVjothTFzE7mQ_UP64RXEBkHRgW19bFt9MFB9V1GrAI-Gl3mQfdSDBE4z71mRV8W9Gn2Ba6VxBLKa-QU/s640/social+media+explained.jpg" width="299" /></a></div>
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<a name='more'></a>Here's how I imagine a conversation between future historians would go:<br />
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<b>Bolivion</b>: Heyhi, Englebertha, how's the research coming along?<br />
<b>Englebertha</b>: Heyhi, Bolivion, it's going okay; I'm currently immersed in the <i>Annals of Twitter</i>.<br />
<b>Bolivion</b>: Ah, the great communal journal of the early twenty-first century. Have you discovered anything interesting?<br />
<b>Englebertha</b>: It's actually been rather disappointing. It appears that many forgot the power of literacy in this age; in fact I have yet to discover a single author who posted more than 140 characters at a time! Furthermore, what was published is mostly errant nonsense. Warring factions such as the "Beliebers" and the "Directioners" used Twitter to pay homage to their idols. The art of "puns" is revered above all others. The rest comprises mundane statements; for example, @GraceSummon is quite insistent on sharing her view that the Chef's Protege is "the best programme ever". It's tiresome work.<br />
<b>Bolivion</b>: You can say that again. I'm studying the <i>Instagram Portfolio</i> at the moment. It is dullness beyond anything imaginable. I have come to the conclusion that society was easily pleased at the time. Plates of food are so frequently depicted that one could not suggest that meals were scarce; and yet each dish is adorned with dozens of hearts! The sunset also seems to have provoked confusion - I can only suggest that they tried to document the sun's existence, in terror that it might never return. The same gracesummon of which you speak seems to have been a victim of this particular fear. I have also found yet more proof that cats were worshipped.<br />
<b>Englebertha</b>: As if more proof were needed. Personally, I feel sorry for Hintition. He's working on the <i>Addled Chronicle of Facebook</i>.<br />
<b>Bolivion</b>: Poor fellow. Where is he?<br />
(cut to a figure in the corner, dressed in rags, rocking back and forth, sobbing)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBxvmULZPsti6ycRDzOtpk7EurKP1mUQf5N-i2vnKAyg0IHAtiSjMR0SL8OYqrnn2X98CO3fBA5eXWJwy85_Wxl3x6vwyrGVHZzCTWRExolEYJflnU5rGkuvrLJIQ_a4e7uEn2AWOo5E9A/s1600/ye+olde+facebook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBxvmULZPsti6ycRDzOtpk7EurKP1mUQf5N-i2vnKAyg0IHAtiSjMR0SL8OYqrnn2X98CO3fBA5eXWJwy85_Wxl3x6vwyrGVHZzCTWRExolEYJflnU5rGkuvrLJIQ_a4e7uEn2AWOo5E9A/s400/ye+olde+facebook.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I know that nobody actually puts absolutely everything on social media - that would be irresponsible and a waste of time. But a lot of the way we document our lives goes on through the likes of Facebook and Twitter. I just want you to imagine what would happen if, one day in the future, somebody just pressed a big red 'Delete' button and all social media disappeared, like the Library of Alexandria. All of your photos, messages, 'friends' that you never spoke to, all gone. If a future historian found all of your possessions, what would they say about your priorities? How many letters do you keep, how many photos do you print out? In my case, the answer is "not a lot". If a future historian reconstructed my bedroom as it is right now, they would probably conclude that my life was centred around clothes and cats.<br />
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And what if the 'Delete' button wasn't pressed? What would a future historian take from your Facebook page? What might they read into the choices that you make about what you post without thinking?<br />
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Obviously, I'm not saying "construct a virtual persona that will impress future historians". To be honest, they'll probably see through it and conclude that you were a bit sad. I just mean that it's important to think about these things. What do your virtual and material lives say about you, and do they match up?<br />
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*I probably shouldn't be writing this, I'm supposed to be revising, but shhh don't tell anyone.<br />
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Images: <a href="http://www.paulsheals.co.uk/2012/02/social-media-explained/">Paul Sheales</a>, <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mattlucht/6721474101/">Flickr</a>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6092534953978908112.post-70051003396345047612013-05-10T19:25:00.000+01:002013-05-10T19:25:51.516+01:00Emmeline Pankhurst on our banknotes?You may have heard a couple of weeks ago about the Bank of England's decision to replace Elizabeth Fry on the £5 note with Winston Churchill. As with every item of news, this caused an absolute furore on Twitter. Why was the only woman on our banknotes being replaced by a man? What was the Bank of England thinking, taking such a backwards step for women's rights? Don't get me wrong, I don't entirely disagree with the validity of these questions (although we'll get to my slight qualms about them later). I was, on the other hand, alarmed at the enormous amount of people blithely advocating Emmeline Pankhurst as a better substitute.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBmfSN1_aOQjTOF0fkXRtED5ZgJ_dofP6n_2SulaOOxTC20Xzd7HfqMwg1iLDlcDmZVhoLttn4zNApJVPmrNjp3SwT3qrDoBNWVEsQkadsND_5z0aE9i1Isc5YaRaJp14B19fNy1QfxwIj/s1600/emmeline+pankhurst+suffragettes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBmfSN1_aOQjTOF0fkXRtED5ZgJ_dofP6n_2SulaOOxTC20Xzd7HfqMwg1iLDlcDmZVhoLttn4zNApJVPmrNjp3SwT3qrDoBNWVEsQkadsND_5z0aE9i1Isc5YaRaJp14B19fNy1QfxwIj/s400/emmeline+pankhurst+suffragettes.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<a name='more'></a>The problem with Emmeline Pankhurst is that her leadership of the suffragette movement seems to have been romanticised by the popular imagination. From what I have gleaned from various tweets and comments, there are many who are under the impression that Emmeline Pankhurst won the women's right to vote in Britain. Which is simply not true. For one thing, there has been no mention of the non-violent suffragist movement, led by Millicent Fawcett, which actually had a lot more support. For another, women's suffrage was not granted as a direct result of the actions of the two organisations (in fact, the suffragettes arguably harmed their own cause with their endorsement of hunger strikes and vandalism); effectively, it was in WW1 that women proved that they were capable of doing men's work, and therefore equal to men.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi0et5uh-zubgwVjUrBxcU7Vcwhh8n2_ImzkF41MI3p8P8CM7tUyDcIbaWa3A5mTPRtVQsU24O9UfvtaYnakB0OSUnHOq10bzOsepF4oZaISUecbsMZFfdJEhNA3fZH3gaJA2TCrsvwxo-/s1600/never+give+up+winston+churchill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi0et5uh-zubgwVjUrBxcU7Vcwhh8n2_ImzkF41MI3p8P8CM7tUyDcIbaWa3A5mTPRtVQsU24O9UfvtaYnakB0OSUnHOq10bzOsepF4oZaISUecbsMZFfdJEhNA3fZH3gaJA2TCrsvwxo-/s320/never+give+up+winston+churchill.jpg" width="314" /></a></div>
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But even though I disagree with Pankhurst's suitability to be on a banknote, it's actually kind of irrelevant. Churchill is another figure whose virtues have been exaggerated almost to the point of apotheosis, resulting in lots of his cheesy quotes being plastered all over Pinterest. In reality, he did have flaws and made decisions that I don't necessarily agree with. However, at this moment in time he has a unique presence in the British consciousness as a kind of national icon. Personally, I think I'd find it a bit weird if he never made it onto a banknote.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxefDr509VuSRYC99u6q_ge-6cntunbsYXvaFcG-SR7Xis-a0pUjgSfAUBwv_RNhBKNQwR1t1g6g4s9FumEa8tXn7S6KT5UkdYdCJ5LCzcYuzuV7GwVbTg70E1O7ao9GydRlJ4Tnh3zeb8/s1600/winston+churchill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxefDr509VuSRYC99u6q_ge-6cntunbsYXvaFcG-SR7Xis-a0pUjgSfAUBwv_RNhBKNQwR1t1g6g4s9FumEa8tXn7S6KT5UkdYdCJ5LCzcYuzuV7GwVbTg70E1O7ao9GydRlJ4Tnh3zeb8/s400/winston+churchill.jpg" width="270" /></a></div>
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I don't think that the Bank of England are taking a step backwards on women's rights. I don't think a woman should be chosen to go on a banknote just to fulfil some kind of equality quota. That doesn't mean to say that I don't think there are plenty of women that should be there: Mary Seacole is one example among many that should definitely be considered. What I mean is, we've read the situation wrong. This isn't a woman being replaced by a man; this is a human being replaced by another human. It would be tedious to argue that Churchill shouldn't be on a banknote, so why should we change it to a woman, purely because she is a woman? If anything, it's sexist, and if we truly believe that men and women are equal, it shouldn't matter. Respect should be gained for your person, not your gender.</div>
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Image: <a href="http://broken-blossoms.tumblr.com/">broken blossoms</a>, <a href="http://9gag.com/">9gag</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08894428407683947324noreply@blogger.com0