The most plausible explanation for Sherlock's fall (feat. Busted)

Everyone watched Sherlock on New Year's Day, right? Of course you did, you've had two years to catch up with the last series. It was a brilliant episode, but alas! we were not told how Sherlock managed to survive a deadly plummet from a really tall building, his supposed mangled corpse crunching onto the pavement below, all witnessed by a traumatised John.

I've thought it through and there really is only one explanation, exclusively revealed right here on Alma Grove.

23 gems from GraceBot

In a fit of extreme laziness, this post has been written by a machine. Everyone's been trying out the new What Would I Say? app on Facebook, which generates statuses by mashing up everything you've ever said on Facebook and churning it out to make it look like something you might say. Well, if it can generate statuses, why not a whole blog post, eh? Here are 23 things that I, apparently, might say:

Well basically in my dream I was ron weasley...

Fun ways to jazz up unemployment

It's an unfortunate fact that since graduating I have been unemployed; in fact nobody seems to want to pay me any money. Nobody, that is, except the government, who have been doling out my weekly benefit. The thing is, having a continuous stream of rejections filling your inbox and frequently having to hang around the Job Centre can give your self-esteem a bit of a knock.And there's no more student loan, so you can't even shop to make yourself feel better! [Clueless voice] As if!

So, it's time to lighten the mood. The grass is always greener, right? At least you're not one of the guys always complaining about their job, or moaning about their boss. You'll never be this free from monotonous drudgery until retirement! Let's make the most of this unemployment malarkey! Who's with me? Ride to ruin and the world's ending! What say you? What say you?!

HUZZAH

HUZZAH

HUZZAH

New Girl MBTI (Myers-Briggs) personality types

Have you ever taken the Myers-Briggs personality test? There are lots of online versions of the test, but the best one I've seen is probably this one. I don't massively trust it since I've taken it maybe 5 or 6 times and I've come out with a different result every single time, but it's still quite fun to do (FYI, the latest result was ISFP). Seeing as New Girl season 3 has just started in the U.S., I thought it might be quite fun to work out what personality types the main characters fitted into. Here are the results (please excuse these terrible pictures, especially the John-Travolta-esque Schmidt, I won't tell you what an embarrassingly long time it took me):

Dawson's Creek reminds me of Harry Potter

Recently, I've been going through a bit of a phase (shock horror). I was a bit young to watch Dawson's Creek when it first came out, being precisely six years old, but a few months ago my good friend Rosie (who designed Alma Grove's logo and wrote this blog post) introduced me to the joys of living in Capeside. Now I'm ever-so-slightly obsessed.

Here's another fun fact about me (and I totally understand if you want to stop reading after this sentence) (but at the same time I really don't): I absolutely LOVE listening to the Harry Potter audiobooks, read by Stephen Fry. I've always preferred listening to people talking than listening to music, and Stephen's superior tones often soothe my ruffled mind when I'm getting ready in the morning. The thing is, because I'm watching a lot of Dawson's Creek and listening a lot to Harry Potter, I can't help noticing that they're actually surprisingly similar...

"There's a hole in my soul" - the World's biggest conspiracy theory

Who's up for a game? I'm going to throw some song lyrics at you, and your challenge is to spot the theme. Ready? Let's go.

• Hey, show some love / You ain't so tough / Come fill my little world right up / Right up - Fill My Little World, The Feeling
• There's a hole in my soul / I can't fill it, I can't fill it / There's a hole in my soul / Can you fill it, can you fill it? - Flaws, Bastille
• Well that is it, guys, that is all, five minutes in and I'm bored again - Some Nights, Fun.
• I am lost, I am vain / I will never be the same / Without you - Without You, David Guetta
• The scars of your love remind me of us / They keep me thinking that we almost had it all - Rolling in the Deep, Adele
• I know that I've got issues / But you're pretty messed up too / Either way I found out I'm nothing without you - My Life Would Suck Without You, Kelly Clarkson

What's the verdict? You might have noticed a couple of strands emerging - dissatisfaction with life, and the idea that finding somebody to love will complete you. 

Why the British can't handle their cheese

I don't know many people who wouldn't agree that a slice of lightly-toasted white bread is improved enormously by an oozing layer of melted mature Cheddar. And yet, when it comes to cheese in its abstract form, most prevalent in American TV drama series, we wince and cringe. Why is it that we, as a nation, cannot produce or watch cheesiness without grimacing?

My investigation begins with a definition of the term 'cheesy'. I would describe a cheesy moment as one that is needlessly sentimental and completely unrealistic, which is blatantly motivated by a need to manipulate the whole audience's emotions, with the subtlety of Taylor Swift. Here is a classic cheesy moment demonstrated by Cameron Diaz in The Holiday: