3 steps to gaining acceptance from your cats

At the end of my first year at uni, my family got two adorable kittens whom we named Poppy and Rosie. Awwww.

The thing was, because I was at uni and therefore not home very often, whenever I did come home they didn't really understand who I was. So, since graduating and moving back home, I've had to ingratiate myself with our two-year-old cats. I know, it sounds like I've set myself an impossible task, but it turns out that there are steps one can take to gain a cat's - well, certainly not love (I'm not completely delusional), but perhaps haughty satisfaction. Here's what I did:

What should I blog about?

Do you ever find that the old creativity spout dries up every once in a while? It may shock you to discover that even I sometimes struggle to think of things to write about (I know, you'd never guess, right?). But, I've devised a nifty solution to this little mental pickle (you may note that I I had to resort to using it last week). Dear readers, I am about to share my most valuable secret with you. May it serve you well.

4 shifty schemes that my cats might possibly be working on

Recently, I've noticed some particularly shifty behaviour going on on the part of the feline members of the household. I know that all cats are clever and manipulative, but Poppy and Rosie are behaving like secret cat agents. They only leave the house in shifts, never at the same time. When they're swapping shifts, they sniff each others noses, as if they're communicating in code. Poppy keeps voluntarily going outside in the rain, something cats NEVER do, and when I go and look for her, she's always in the rockery. As soon as she sees me, she miaows and runs back inside. Clearly, the cats are planning a covert operation, and our rockery is housing something instrumental to the task. I've been speculating about what they might be up to.

I leave this information in your charge, dear reader. If I suddenly go missing, you'll know why.